Argentina's Soccer President Having His Own Personal Sweat-Wiper During Games Is The Ultimate Sign Of Power

Holy shit, this is the definition of power. It's not even a power move, just straight up power. You have a guy sit behind you and wipe your sweat while you watch Messi in the swamps of Jersey? Sign me up for that sort of thing. Not being the sweat-wiper, I know the world needs ditch diggers, but I'm not wiping someone else's sweat. I have the slightest amount of dignity (although, what sort of salary is this guy working on? Everyone has a price). 

The more I think about it, the more I found the perfect job for Gregg Berhalter. If he wants to stay with USA soccer, he gets demoted to being Jurgen Klopp or Pep's sweat-wiper. Fair is fair in my book. If we're being honest though, it's 2024. Stop wearing suits to matches. I know you're in charge and what not, but slap on a team polo and call it a day. It's all about comfort. No one cares if you wear a suit or not. 

Incredible look. You can have your fancy cars, your mansions, your lack of debt and your super nice country club memberships. None of it matters until you have a guy wiping you down if you're overheating at Giants Stadium (it'll always be Giants Stadium).