Best Of 2024 - I Was Going To Write A Blog About How I Was Assaulted By An Unhinged Lunatic on Nantucket Today But As I’ve Matured and Gotten Older I’ve Learned To Turn the Other Cheek And Ignore Stuff Like this
So today while I was at Millie’s on Nantucket waiting for my pickup order I was attacked by an unhinged lunatic. A lady walked into the restaurant and marched right up to me and said “I’m Sue Costello!” She kind of lowered her shades so I could get a good look at her face. I could tell she thought I would instantly recognize her and tremble in fear. It was as though she had been waiting all her life for this confrontation. It was her mic drop moment. I of course had no clue who she was. This is the conversation that then ensued almost word for word after I said I didn’t know who she was;
Sue “the maniac” Costello – You tweeted about me 4 years ago. You called me an asshole. I was tormented by men for 4 days straight afterwards. You made my life hell.
Me – Why did I tweet about you? Did you provoke me?
Sue ‘the maniac” Costello – I didn’t do anything. You went on Tucker Carlson and I made a rice and beans joke.
Me – Usually people deserve what they get on twitter. Are you sure you didn’t provoke me?
Sue ‘the maniac” Costello – I didn’t deserve any of it. Maybe you should think about what you do to people the next time you tweet about somebody”
Me – In my experience people generally get what they deserve when I interact with them.
Then my order was called at Millies and I tried to side step her to pick it up since she was standing in my face. We brushed arms and I mean barely brushed arms but when we did she screamed “DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!” I looked directly at her as I was walking out and was like “lady you are a lunatic” and left.
Naturally once I left Millies the endorphins were pumping and I had to see who this person was and what she was talking about. So apparently Sue Costello is a fledgling comedian. (I used the term comedian loosely) And to say she is obsessed with me would be the understatement of the millennium. Just look at how many times shes tweeted at me over the past few years. (this is a video not a screenshot. It goes on and on and on)
Umm stalker much?
Now back to why I called her an asshole in the 1st place four years ago. Back during Covid she tweeted at me insinuating that the Barstool Fund was a "dumb publicity stunt'. You know the fund that raised 50 million and saved hundreds of small businesses from going out of business during covid.
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Umm not exactly just a Rice and Beans joke like she said it was that caused me to call her an asshole 4 years ago. Either way how crazy is this lady? Sue Costello has tweeted at me no less than 1000 times and then she has the audacity to freak out that I called her an asshole once and deservedly so by the way. I’m now the bad guy because people are mean to her on twitter? I’d love to say this is all an act by her to sell tickets for her comedy show tonight on Nantucket, but she was clearly unhinged when she came at me. Just pure looney tunes.
Regardless none of this is here nor there. Instead the point of this blog is to show how much I’ve matured over the years. Old Dave would have published this entire story just to make an example out of Sue Costello for being a fucking idiot. I would have ranted and raved about how you can't publicly act like an asshole and then complain when people call you an asshole. Stupid is stupid does. But now that I’m mid 40’s I just want to relax and enjoy my new beachhouse on the island. I’m a calmer, more mature El Presidente. So stories like these will just have to go untold. Nobody will ever know what a true asshole Sue Costello is. She can continue to live her life in total and complete obscurity all because I took the high road and didn't talk about it. Happy 4th Everybody!