Nick Cannon, Confirmed 12 Time Sex Haver, Has a $10M Insurance Policy Taken Out on His Balls
FilmMagic. Getty Images.ET - Nick Cannon is opening up about his decision to financially protect his most valuable personal asset -- his reproductive organs.
Cannon -- who shares Legendary with Bre Tiesi -- spoke with ET at the celebration after playing with his young son in a bounce house with friends and family.
During the conversation, Cannon, 43, addressed his recent announcement, which he made early last month, that he'd had his testicles insured for $10 million.
"I had to insure my most valuable assets," Cannon said with a laugh. "Because you hear about like all these different celebrities insuring their legs… so I was like, 'Hey, well, I got to insure my most valuable body part."
This original story is about a month old, but Nick Cannon addressed it again yesterday. And this is the first I'm hearing of it. You hear about celebrities and athletes taking out insurance policies on their bodies all the time. Usually they make perfect sense. In 2006, David Beckham insured his legs for $140 million. Beckham stood to make millions of dollars playing soccer, and without his legs he wouldn't be able to do that. Hence a large insurance policy. Nick Cannon's ex-wife Mariah Carey has a $35 million policy on her voice. She makes money singing. If she can't sing, she's not able to make that money.
But for what purpose Nick Cannon insuring his balls? Sure, if during a filming of Wild N' Out, if Kenyatis "ThatBoyFunny" Jones (real person) wilds out too hard and accidently rips Nick Cannon's testicles clean off the base of his dick, that would be a tragedy. It would be horrible if father of 12 Nick Cannon is never able to sire children numbers 13 and 14. He's not losing out on any money though is he? Aside from medical bills? Would Nick Cannon's image as the most fertile celebrity in America be shattered to the point that he would no longer get the same opportunities he does now? Is a ballsless Nick Cannon not worth as much to Hollywood as a fully balled Nick Cannon is? Does Nick Cannon profit off of every child? Actually that plast art is probably true. I bet every one of his children probably have Instagram ad deals in place while they're still in the womb.
I guess that part doesn't even matter though. All this is, is a $10M gamble by the insurer that nothing happens to Nick Cannon's balls, and they can keep cashing monthly checks until the day he dies. Also this particular insurance policy is taken out through "Dr. Squatch's new Ball Care products". So the whole thing is more or less an ad deal. But allegedly the policy is real. As I understand it, if Nick Cannon accidently dips his balls in a vat of acid tomorrow, he'll be $10M richer.
I really wish they provided more detail on this insurance policy. I have several questions about the specifics of it. Obviously if he loses his balls completely, he cashes in. But what if someone kicks him in the balls, and it slightly damages his sperm count? What if he just loses one balls? What if he gets testicular cancer? What if in 5 years he naturally becomes sterile? Does he cash in on all of that?
Remember the golfer Anthony Kim? He took out an insurance policy that paid out somewhere between $10-20M should he suffer a career ending injury. Well he ended up having multiple surgeries and stepped away from the game entirely. But the stipulation was that if he ended up returning to professional golf, he would not be able to cash in. Then he ended up joining the LIV Tour down the road.
He says he's not at liberty to talk about the details of the policy/settlement, so it's unclear exactly what happened with his insurance policy, but I wonder if Nick Cannon's balls in a similar situation? If he takes a line drive to his nuts in a celebrity softball game, is told he'll never have kids again, cashes in on his policy, put Dr. Squatch clean out of business, then miraculously ends up having another kid, does he have to give the money back?
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I wonder if Dr. Squatch would consider letting me take out a balls insurance policy. If so, and I found myself in a position where if I lost my balls I'd receive $10M, I'd have to seriously consider insurance fraud. I love my balls and all, but $10M is a lot of money. And losing both balls doesn't mean your sex life is over. According to Google I could still get hard. I'd just need a lot of testosterone replacement therapy. I'm confident that with $10M I could find the right doctor who could get back dick back into fighting shape in no time. And I'd have no pesky balls to deal with anymore. It'd be a win-win.
Something to consider there.