Let's Get a Scouting Report on Isabella Settanni, the Brazilian Model Being Currently 'Linked to' Tom Brady
If you're even mildly familiar with how such things work, then you understand that a man of Tom Brady's stature would have more to do during the offseason before his broadcasting career begins than just address me by name. And to a lesser extent, mention the fellas who went to prison to protest his innocence:
No, men such as him don't achieve statue-worthiness by sitting around doing nothing. Every day is a new opportunity to improve on your own well-established greatness. Even the deadest time of the NFL calendar. Like his former mentor put it in the most celebrated chant of all time:
And since the Yoda to his Luke is taking "no days off" from dating an accomplished 24 year old cheerleader,
… it seemed like only a matter of time before the GOAT of charming women would buckle up his chin strap, get off the bench, get back in the game, and start scoring once again.
The details are sketchy. Nothing is confirmed as of yet. But it's being suggested that time has come:
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Source - Tom Brady sparked romance rumors with model Isabella Settanni in June 2024 after they were reportedly spotted out and about on multiple occasions.
Brazilian outlet Terra Entretê claimed the duo met through mutual friends a few months prior and were “getting to know each other better.”
However, the rumored couple has not been photographed together, and the former New England Patriots quarterback does not follow the influencer, who is 14 years his junior, back on Instagram.
Sources later told Us Weekly that the pair were not dating but didn’t specify the nature of their relationship.
Not only does Settanni look like Brady’s ex-wife, but she … is from Horizontina, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.
Now, a cynical person might point out that not 14 months ago, it was being widely reported Brady had had enough, and was retiring from the whole "dating models" thing:
And yes, you unromantic types who aren't on a first name basis with the world's most eligible bachelor may point out the irony that he's not only (perhaps) dating another model, but a Brazilian one who bears a more than passing resemblance to the one he was married to.
But to that I say, "Why not?" It makes total sense to me. Stick with what you're good at. He long ago mastered the art of romancing models from Brazil. So why change now, just because the last one left him for a jiu-jitsu instructor while he was in noble pursuit of his 8th ring? He knows their moves. Their customs. Their language. For Brady, going with another Brazilian model is no different than installing his old Patriots offense in Tampa after growing understandably frustrated with that stupid, ineffective, quarterback-killing scheme Bruce Arians preferred. Keep doing what you're great at until somebody proves they can stop it.
And if this really is a thing going on between them, he has once again chosen wisely:
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Doing the rough, back-of-the-envelope math, if she's 14 years younger than Brady, that would make Settanni about seven or eight years on Belichick's girlfriend. And to each his own. The heart wants what the heart wants. And all my heart wants is for my close, personal friends to find true happiness in their post-NFL careers. I hope this is real and these two crazy kids can make it work the way Belichick and Hudson are.