Christian Pulisic Is The Greatest American Soccer Player We've Ever Seen

Bang! BANG! That's right, I went double bang Mike Breen style on a Christian Pulisic goal because that's what happens when he does this 3 minutes into Copa America. It's the most important tournament for the US in a long, long time with expectations, being in the US and Greggggggg still in charge. Not sure if I used enough g's there. That doesn't matter though when Pulisic is doing this. 

Look, I love Brian McBride. I love Clint Dempsey even more. I can look past the Landon Donovan hair transplant + Mexico thing. Christian Pulisic is the best soccer player we've ever seen. This is what people from Central Pennsylvania do though. We lead America. York, the first capital of America and a blogger for Barstool and Hershey delivered chocolate and Christian Pulisic. Fitting for him to score right off the bat here. 

I don't even care what happens the rest of Copa America (I do) but that won't change my thought on Pulisic. Scores with his balls against Iran to send us to knockout stage in the World Cup, does this in Copa America. The dude just shows up, scores goals and wins over America. Captain America. Banger of a goal too. That's beauty in words we barely use correctly. Just a perfect goal. Now beat Bolivia into bolivian.