Advertisement

WATCH: White Sox Wins A Knuckle Sandwich Eating Contest

Obviously not a great situation here. White Sox jersey has no leverage because there's no traction for his lower half. He's on ice skates squaring off against a stable base and bigger reach. On paper this has all the makings for yet another White Sox blowout loss and that's exactly what we got. 

That said, some observations: 

- You get knocked down once, you can blame it on bad footing. You can step back and taunt pink shirt into hopping the fence, maybe. There's some decent options, - none of which suggest you go right back in for an extra serving of knuckle sandwich. 

- Grey White Sox is a great road jersey in MLB but a downright terrible jersey for festivals. Especially the Marshall's brand with no number/name you get in a bad Christmas exchange. Based on jersey selection alone, I would easily nominate Grey White Sox to have a terrible, awful, no good, very bad night out. Obviously I'm not advocating for violence here but it shouldn't surprise you. That's the broader point about Grey White Sox.  

- Grey White Sox has a great Chicago scripted font. Without that font I'd probably advocate for violence but again we're not doing that

-  Was this recorded on a Sunday night? That's an absolute fuckin nightmare and a compelling argument for Artificial Intelligence, generally. Too much chaos going on there for me. So if you got functional robots, or pretty close to, then you got my attention for that first wave

- Gotta wear the black jersey if you're repping the White Sox culturally. Or at least the 1983 Hitman - but that might be a little nice for these elements. Generally speaking, especially if you tan well, the black is going to be your best option if you fully raw dog it with a thin gold chain. Babes love that kinda stuff from White Sox fans. 

 - Last thing and most important: you gotta have a solid lower half in all things. Decent sex, good night's rest, climbing the rail to throw haymakers, etc. Get your lower half stabilized fellas and thank me later.