Feminine Women Do Not Like Feminine Men
Tamas Kovacs. Shutterstock Images.The other day I stumbled upon a very important thread regarding how to use dark psychology to make a women fall madly in love with you. It was great stuff. I wrote a blog about it.
Ever since then my 'For You' page has been blessing me with nothing but delightful threads of similar themes. I've been thoroughly enjoying them. There's so much you can learn from tweet threads put together by accounts with names like "Masculine Notes ⚔️" who are trying to sell you books
I came across this new one last night as I was lying in bed with a woman who I tricked into marrying me using advice I found on Reddit. The feminization of men is a problem that's been plaguing society for decades. Personally, I blame boy bands. Back in the day the only men who sung in groups were barbershop quartets and street gangs in dark alleys who wore leather jackets and intimidated civilians with switchblades and perfect harmony. But by the time I was old enough to like girls, we had boy bands like The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. Then came the Jonas Brothers and One Direction. Then K-Pop became the biggest thing in the entire fucking world. Next thing you know, TikTok's taken over and now all the hottest guys are shaving their bodies from the eyes down and doing choreographed dances for an internet audience of 500M people.
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But don't be fooled. According to this very correct Twitter thread, the boy band aesthetic is in fact NOT that type of man who real women desire. Feminine women want masculine men. So here are 8 things you must stop doing immediately if you want any hope of attracting a passable woman (the thread says there's 12 but I only see 8, I'm assuming you have to buy the book for the last 4, but real men don't read full books either so I'm sticking with the 8)
CROSSING YOUR LEGS WHILE SITTING
As a man, unless you're a professional athlete in a contact sport (not soccer), your body should not be limber enough to fully cross your legs thigh over thigh. A real man should be stiff to the point where even bending over at the waist produces a loud, guttural sound akin to the noises made by two male hippos fighting over a mate.
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But that's not even the point. Even if god has cursed you with the feminine trait of flexibility, a man's balls should not allow for such a maneuver. If your balls aren't large enough that crossing your legs doesn't crush them to the point of never being able to bear children, you might as well give up entirely. Just move to Thailand and spend your money on cheap hookers, because you'll never be able to attract a woman on your own accord.
POSTING TOO MUCH ON SOCIAL MEDIA
There is nothing hotter to a woman than a man who doesn't waste his time with social media. Bill Belichick dropped panties all across New England when he didn't know what Snapchat was.
Posting is the ultimate chick repellant. That's the exact reason why I'm not a household name at Barstool Sports. It has nothing to do with my work ethic or lack of talent. If I wanted to, I could easily be top 5 at the company. I'd be a staple on TikTok, I'd be rifling off 10 viral tweets per day, and would be making side-splittingly hilarious appearances on all of Barstool's biggest shows. But unfortunately I'm too masculine of a man. And realistically, Barstool has plenty effeminate employees who are willing to put themselves out there, try new things, and make money for the company. Somebody here has to represent real men, and that's a cross I'm willing to bear.
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TALKING WITH A HIGH PITCHED VOICE
I was born with a naturally high pitched voice myself, but I have to disagree with Masculine Notes here. You don't need to spend the time and effort learning how to "talk from diaphragm". The much easier option is to take up smoking cigarettes. A couple packs of cigarettes a day, coupled will alcohol abuse and a severe lack of sleep will take any man's voice from a boyish falsetto to Wilfred Brimley in no time at all.
HAVING LONG HAIR WITH NO FACIAL HAIR
If you're trying to be a masculine man, and someone mistakes you for a woman, then you'll have no choice but to fight them. At that point it's the only way you can save face. I know fighting someone for an innocent mistake is kind of the manliest thing you can do… but it's such a risk. There's always a chance you could lose the fight. Even if the guy looks like a pussy, there's always a chance that he knows karate. Then you're the guy at the bar who got his ass kicked by some 5-foot nothing dude. Then you have to move to a new city all together. It's just not worth the risk. Get a haircut or grow a mustache.
LOOKSMAXING
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I'm not even sure what that word means. If you do, you're probably not a man. Women will tell you that they want a guy who takes pride in their appearance. Someone who keeps up with his daily grooming, has a fashionable haircut, wears clean clothes, and sucks on a weird butt plug looking thing in order to hollow out his cheekbones. And when women see those guys pop up on social media, they may think that's the type of man they want. But in the wild, when they're being rizzed up at the bar by some 120-pound TikTok boy with a high taper fade and long eyelashes, then suddenly walks by a real man who's dripping head-to-toe with motor oil, reeks of gasoline, and has a 12-inch scar across the center of his face… she's gonna bail on smooth boy and throw herself at the real man before he can even order his Miller Light.
COVERING YOUR FOREHEAD
Julia Beverly. Getty Images.Advertisement
Arlene Richie. Shutterstock Images.
NicolasMcComber. Getty Images.As Masculine Notes' tweet correctly states, all of these people are mere seconds away from having their heads shoved in a toilet. None of these guys are real men. You ever wonder why Jewish guys are always stealing your girls? It's because their yamakas allow them to show off their full heads.
As badly as you might want to wear a bejeweled turban to the bar… as objectively fucking awesome and hilarious as that would be… if you want any chance with the ladies you'll leave it at home. Don't even wear a ball cap. Women will think you're hiding something. Whether it's a disgusting mole, a receding hairline, a swastika tattoo, it doesn't matter. They'll be forced to assume the worst.
Just take Jeff Nadu for example. The man has never worn a hat in his life. He has the worst haircut to ever grace the internet. And he's literally having sex with your wife right now.
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HAVING WEAK ERECTIONS
This should really be numbers 1-5 on the list. As I said earlier in the leg crossing portion of the blog, real men are stiff. For any man reading this who has experienced anxiety over a poor performance in the bedroom, you should know that your anxiety is completely justified. However big of a deal you made it in your head, to her it was much much worse. A single soft-dicking can will ruin your reputation across an entire city. When you underperform in bed with a woman, she will immediately go to a secret women's only Facebook and post your full name & picture. She'll proceed to describe your embarrassing performance in excruciating detail so that no woman will ever waste her time on you again. If you've ever been and public and thought a group of girls were laughing at you about something, that's almost certainly what it was about. So I don't care if you have to take 4 doses of Gorilla Rhino SuperMAXXX gas station dick pills that make your hair fall out and your skin peel off in chunks. Having a hard dick in bed is far more important
LOVING YOUR WOMAN MORE THAN SHE DOES
The minute a women thinks you love her more than she loves you the relationship is toast. Don't get me wrong… there is NOTHING wrong with showing affection. You should absolutely be doing nice things for your significant other. But for every time you buy her flowers or compliment her hair, she should walk-in on you piss drunk with beer cans scattered across the floor 30 minutes before her parents come over at least once. It's all about finding that balance. Keep score in a notes app on your phone if that helps. In case she ever tries to say that you don't do anything for her, you'll want to be able to whip out your phone and quickly read off a list of good deeds you've performed in the past. That will put her in her place, and she'll appreciate that you're keeping track of your relationship.
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Stay hard out there gentlemen. Viva.