The White Sox and Cubs Are In A Mexican Standoff To Be The Absolute Worst In Baseball

Carl6/12/2024 6:50 PM

A combined 28-54 since April 27th is good for 55-107 over a full 162 and completely disgusting. I’ll do my best to explain how it got to be so shitty.

The White Sox are more pathetic to a reasonable sports fan yet easier to explain. Tony La Russa is a timely starting point but Sox fans would rather point to Jerry first.

So be it. Jerry’s a selfish asshole.

He sabotaged Rick Hahn by handcuffing payroll when it was time to spend big. He forced his geriatric buddy out of retirement and into the dugout. He empowered Kenny Williams to Rasputin status while actively neglecting all forms of objectivity to maintain personal comfort. He’s a bad Bond villain without the shaved cat and a much bigger pussy.

The White Sox clubhouse was a disaster from the beginning. I think that’s why Rick got trigger happy on a Lance Lynn extension - he looked like the guy that could regulate all the bullshit.

What bullshit?

Moncada’s selfish. Eloy’s not stretched. Grandal’s a diva dog. Tim Anderson’s borderline unapproachable in everything. The 2nd basemen can’t play. The right fielders are even worse. You got 3 virgins taking the mound and you just fired Don Cooper only to later refuse a qualifying offer on Carlos Rodon.

I’m missing a lot of stuff but that’s a decent start. One landmine after the other all strategically placed under Jerry’s close watch.

Briefly fast forward and the Sox landscape has transformed into a depressing reality. Maybe the worst team in the history of professional baseball? Certainly one of the biggest jokes.

The White Sox didn’t even try to interview GM candidates this offseason. They spent more time in the test kitchen on a souvenir nacho helmet where a line cook recommended Erick Fedde. Truly, most players would not play for other clubs.

We all know the White Sox are a disaster. But it’s easy to forget the promise they held not even two years ago. The top farm system in baseball plus a cost-controlled core of all stars with attitude and effort. That was a 95+ win team and perennial division contender, EASY.

It happened so fast.

But now I’m curious what’s worse - the White Sox rapid decline or the Cubs’ slow death? What’s easier to cope with?

Let’s first round up the Cubs’ futility. World Series champions to 7 years without a playoff win. Every player from that era gone while Pete Crow Armstrong represents the primary reconciliation. Theo left mid-contract and now everyone’s mad at the successor. Prices soar. Players are worse. And one of the most popular figures in club history got fired so Tom Ricketts could give the biggest manager contract in MLB history to a division rival.

The Cubs never publicly committed to their active rebuild. They dragged it out, extended no one, then averaged 76 wins for 3 straight seasons with 96% roster turnover. It sucked, but most fans were patient as instructed.

In return - we got jack shit going for us right now. We got no life. No action. No bounce. Just a $215M payroll for mediocre-at-best baseball.

There’s obviously time for the Cubs to rebound…

Obviously

… mathematically. So I’ll refrain from pulling the plug for at least another week.

But as it stands, that seems inevitable. Which brings me back to the original question.

Between these two paths, which blows harder? And which blows more?

I’d argue the White Sox are more embarrassing, but the Cubs are more depressing. White Sox fans can bond in their misery while Cubs fans are just starting to realize much less accept it. Truly two awful experiences to consider in mid June.

Ultimately I think it’s harder to care about the White Sox because they’re just so terrible and putrid. But the fact I’m even considering the Cubs in the same conversation is, again, categorically depressing.

So maybe let’s call it a wash and agree the whole thing sucks right now and we’re all pathetic. Maybe that’s the best way out of this mess - everyone getting along, moving on a united front towards September 8th for Bears/Titans. You know? Maybe this summer is meant to bring the city together for one common purpose: