Costco Boom Family: 'A Nice Wholesome Family Who's Content Isn't Hurting Anyone' or 'Worst People on The Internet Who Deserve Prison Time'
If you aren't familiar with the Costco Boom Family, then just stop reading right here. I'm sorry I ever brought them to your attention. But they've been popping up on my timeline enough lately that I can't be the only one finds themselves enthralled with their existence. Every once in a while somebody (or somebodies) will take the internet by storm with a brand of content so excruciatingly bad that it's hard to wrap your mind around how they ever got as much as a single follower in the first place. So bad that you literally can't stop thinking about them. Every time their videos pop up you watch them in awe of just how mind-blowingly terrible their content is.
"I just don't get it. How are these people popular? Who could possibly be watching this?" - I saw to myself as I spend 2 hours scrolling their TikTok feed, and have texted their videos to half of my contact list saying, "Have you fucking these fucking losers?"
That's where I'm at with AJ, Big Justice and all the other Costco loving tertiary characters who make cameo appearances in their Boom or Doom videos. Their content makes me genuinely upset. My day gets worse every time I see them. But I can't stop watching. And they keep getting more powerful. AJ and Big Justice's big dumb faces, lifeless eyes, and long flowing lashes have been living in the forefront of my brain since the day I was introduced to them. It's like watching a series of devastating car crashes. A series of devastating car crashes where everyone involved in the car crashes seem to be happy that the car crashes keep happening, and with every car crash they make more and more money.
I'm torn on how I should feel about A.J. & Big Justice. It's not like they're doing anything wrong. Their stupid Costco videos aren't hurting anyone. It's all wholesome stuff. They're not out there Dooming Costco out of business or anything like that. I don't think they've given out a single Doom in the history of Boom or Doom. Everything they do is positive. The kids appear to be enjoying themselves. It's not like watching a Baby Gronk video where you get the impression that the father is forcing his kid to make content at gun point. The Costco family is nothing more than a nice American TikTok family who fucking loves Costco. So I should really just let them be. They can continue making videos for the internet to enjoy/hate, and it shouldn't affect my life in the least.
But on the other hand, I'm also not opposed to them being thrown into an internment camp in Xinjiang, China where they're forced to hand sew $5 Shein dresses and aren't allowed within 50 miles of a cell phone for the rest of their lives. In a lot of ways the world would be better off for it. I mean... is this the type of content people are enjoying nowadays? Are we all ok with that? Someone has to take stance somewhere. Actions have consequences. And when you're subjecting the world to videos such as this...
You have to expect that at some point your constitutional rights will be stripped away and you are shipped off to China against your will for good.
Advertisement
Is the Costco family where we draw the line? I'm not sure. Probably not. We can probably afford to let things get a little worse before we step in and start shipping content creators to China. And I'm sure it's only a matter of days until I look up from my desk one day and Dana Beers is lining up against Big Justice in an Oklahoma Drill or some dumb shit like that. And numbers-wise it will put anything I've done to shame. Which will make question what the fuck I'm doing in this line of work even more so than I do on a daily basis. Boy does the internet suck…