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Jelly Roll Reveals His Most Lavish Expense Since Becoming Rich And You're Gonna Be Jealous As Hell

Damn Damn Damn. 

This is exactly why I need to be rich one day. Sure, you can be rich to do things like Portnoy such as buying a 40m dollar house, flying your gorgeous and deserving puppy around private, sitting on the wood at games, and various other things that make us all look poor as fuck. 

But Jelly Roll. This move by Jelly Roll is something that I would love. 

The feeling of putting on a pair of crisp, new golden toe socks is unreal. The thickness is perfect. The touch of fresh cotton is perfect. The fit around my skinny ankles is divine and Jelly Roll gets to experience that every day for the rest of his life. 

A few years ago, I replaced all of my socks and all of my boxers in one day. I loaded up the ole Amazon cart and stuck like 4 packs of socks and 4 packs of wonderfully fitting boxers. I went to my drawer with delight and tossed all of the old stuff in a trash bag, hauled that bitch downstairs, and threw it into the trash with a huge smile on my face. 

The next 24 days were some of the best days of my life. That's what Jelly Roll is living right now. Every day is the best day of his life and that is partly due to his extravagant life of fresh and crisp socks. 

I've never been more jealous.