Experts Agree: The Chicago Bears Have The #1 Easiest Schedule In The NFL

Idk if all experts agree but Warren Sharp is the most important one for this blog. And the point is simple: the NFL is finally rigging things in our favor and it feels so good. 

I didn't say we would be any good. I'm not talking about the schedule. I'm just saying it's obvious that the NFL is throwing us a fuckin bone for the first time since they approved the Cutler trade (to Chicago). 

That said, I do like the Bears this year at 15-3 with a 7-1 stretch in the last 8: 

That's my estimate. I'm not standing behind it 100% so don't get mad at me 120% or whatever disproportioned amount of effort your dad coached you into. 

Point is we got mojo going with the schedule. 

We got a quarterback with some fuckin legs: 

Quick release. Sound lower half working off gravity. Tell me that doesn't look like an all pro before the helmets and shoulder pads come out of the shed? You can't. You won't. 

I can sell you all I want but again, I'll just say it's obvious the NFL wants the Bears to succeed and those clowns will rig anything. That house that exploded in DC last year? 

Goodell's handiwork ^^

Point is you can do the homework for yourself, or you can copy off the smarter kid. In this case I am copying off the smarter kid, which is the historical precedent of the NFL advancing broader interests. Chicago appears to be in that intersection finally and all it took was Brandon Johnson. 

Will his office take credit for the schedule? I'm a coin flip. I can see him smirking his way to the front page of sports. 

In any event - this works personally because my dad is replacing his '04 Suburban, and I have the space for it, meaning I get to fix it up. Obviously that means turning it into a literal tailgate machine and sailing it down i-88 at 55mph every other Sunday for the next two decades. That gives me the chills typing out, but it's become a reality and that's awesome. I know so many out there can relate on such a disgusting, rusted level. But truthfully it matters: my dad is giving me the family car and I get to use it for family trips to Soldier Field. 

So you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little jacked about the schedule release being cupcake city until the Packers come to town in November. That's enough to move my needle even more. 

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Otherwise it's business as usual. No doubt someone who knows more than me will have more to say about the schedule and the power dynamics of the trenches, etc. Right now just walk a little lighter knowing the NFL is working deliberately to build us up this year. Likely to bring us down horrifically when it matters most, but we can cross that bridge when we build it. 

Until then, talk shit to your buddies. The Chicago Bears are fuckin back.