Advertisement

In A Groundbreaking Decision, The Court Of Law Has Ruled That Tacos And Burritos ARE Sandwiches

So the way this story goes is that a developer in Fort Wayne, Indiana wanted to make some zoning changes to a strip mall back in 2019, but to keep the citizens happy, he agreed to the rule that traditional fast-food restaurants would not be allowed. And I get it, if I had a big, fancy house and a strip mall was coming in, I would also want to be able to control the clientele and traffic that comes and goes. They agreed that nothing could sell alcohol, you can't have outdoor seating, and that only "sandwich style shops" were permitted. Essentially, come in and get a nice sandwich if you want, but we're keeping the McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bells, etc out of the area.

Well, the developer then committed in 2022 to opening a restaurant called The Famous Taco, and since then, it's been a battle between the citizens and him to determine if it was allowed. At first it was shut down, but now, after the ruling handed down by Judge Bobay, it has been determined that the opening can continue due to the fact that tacos and burritos are "Mexican style sandwiches".

“The proposed Famous Taco restaurant falls within the scope of the general use approved in the original Written Commitment. The proposed Famous Taco restaurant would serve made-to-order tacos, burritos, and other Mexican-style food, and would not have outdoor seating, drive through service, or serve alcohol. The Court agrees with Quintana that tacos and burritos are Mexican style sandwiches, and the original Written Commitment does not restrict potential restaurants to only American cuisine-style sandwiches.”

A groundbreaking ruling! And let me say this: I'm a proud American to be paying tax dollars so the courts can settle such important questions. Next up, let's get a Judge's ruling on hot dogs being sandwiches, using the Transitive Property to prove that if Hot Dogs are Tacos, and Tacos and Sandwiches, then Hot Dogs are Sandwiches. And once that's done, can we get the Boneless Wings / Chicken Nuggets debate in front of a Judge's eyes please?

But those debates may have to be put on the back burner for a while, as this ruling may continue The Famous Taco's opening in the short term, legal analysts are predicting this may be elevated all the way to the Supreme Court, seeing as this decision directly contradicts Judge Jeffrey A. Locke's ruling from back in the day in Massachusetts.

A split decision! And with this information, I really hope that the rich people of Fort Wayne fight this tooth and nail, citing the great Sandwich Skirmish of Worcester as precedent. This really could be an all-time court case. I saw people of Indiana were saying it might be the 21st Century version of Brown vs. Board of Education….changing the modern American way of life and setting precedent for the rest of time.