Thomas Jefferson Commencement Speaker Announces Names So Wildly Absurd It Has To Be A Bit

Nope. Not falling for this one. Been around these internet parts wayyyy too long. There's zero chance a reputable, worldwide medical institution like Thomas Jefferson would have someone absolutely butchering simple names this bad. These are simplistic monikers a toddler would have no issue pronouncing with a little practice, let alone someone speaking at a commencement. Elizabeth. Virginia. Bruce. This It's not like there was a Shadynasty in the ranks getting their degree:

Even if there was it probably would've been pronounced starting with a K or some shit. I've watched this clip 50 times and I still don't understand how this could possibly happen. Would you trust a nurse to put a catheter in you whose school put out something like this at the graduation ceremony? Probably. That's because I ain't messing with anything going up into me dickhole. That's an outsourced position for me 10000/100 times and twice on Sunday. But I fully understand if it causes some people to have reservations. Thomas Jefferson didn't write the Declaration of Independence, have numerous illegitimate children with his slave, and die for someone to mispronounce his home state of Virginia that biblically. Not the best look for anyone. Godspeed, Sally Hemmings. 

Next time just get Key to sub in and announce the names. Seriously. At least the graduation will have more moxie.