10 Things That Are Significantly More Harmful to Society and Should Be Banned Before TikTok

I'm a little unclear on how probable it is that we ever get to the point where TikTok is truly banned in the United States. To me this seems like something that'll be dragged out in court forever, and eventually there will be some sort of compromise made. TikTok will end up making a few slight changes, but in large everything will stay the same. Maybe I'm wrong there. I'm admittedly not fully tuned into this situation. I just don't see a world where TikTok is truly taken away from us. This blog isn't about that, though. There's been so much talk around the potential harm TikTok could cause to America. However, I can't help but think there are about 1,000 other things that cause our country significantly more problems. Here are 10 off the top of my head.

DISCLAIMER: I'm leaving politics out of this (mostly) because I would like my blog to be posted

Flame Throwing Robot Dogs

Thank you for the assist on this one Barstool Sports social team. To be honest this tweet is where I got this whole blog idea from. There's just simply no need for flame throwing robot dogs. And I don't know this for a fact, but if I have to bet, I'm guessing there's somebody out there right now who's working on putting AI in that thing. Next thing we know, the AI flame throwing robot dogs have turned on us. They set up a homestead in Times Square. They gradually expand outward as they burn down every building and human being in their path. Soon enough they make their way down to city hall and overthrow the government. Within 5 years the flame throwing robot dogs will have taken over the city.

Deshaun Watson

What on earth is Deshaun Watson doing? What does he have up his long white flowing sleeves other than a boatload of oil money? The man is fresh off 30 women making claims that he sexually assaulted them in one way or another. He already has a $230 million contract from the Cleveland Browns. There's no telling what Deshaun might do next. He'll be drinking champagne with Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un in no time. He very well may end up with access to North Korea's nuclear codes. If they ever figure out how to fire their missiles more than 10 feet off the ground, Deshaun Watson may bring the world to it's knees.

The "Look between _ and _ on your keyboard" Twitter trend

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This is the last time I'm even going to acknowledge it's existence. I'm already kicking myself for making too many jokes about it from my own twitter account. If you don't know what I'm talking about, whatever you do, don't look into it. You'll be better off for it. I've hands down never hated a trend on the internet more. To anybody who has ever sent one of those tweets in way where they actually think they're doing something funny, much like Big Cat, I hope zombie O.J. Simpson crawls out of his grave and filets you with knife #nodisrespect.

Shoutout to our Barstool Social team for not participating in this. I think. At least I haven't seen them do it. Hopefully they stay strong, and don't cave by the time this blog gets posted.

Tranq

Jonathan Alpeyrie. Shutterstock Images.

There's a lot of drugs out there that should be banned, but whatever that tranq shit is has to go first. It's the drug that renders people motionless at a 90 degree angle. Look up videos of Kensington Avenue in Philadelphia if you don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know how that's even enjoyable. Meth will have you cleaning up a mile's worth of trash on the interstate with a smile on your face. A 4am cocaine session with the boys could potentially render some viable business ventures. But what is tranq doing for anyone? People arms are just falling off their bodies. Honestly, anybody caught selling that shit should be tarred, feathered, and sent to jail for the rest of their life. 

Oz The Mentalist

He should be #1 on this list. He should be #1 on any sort of watch list that our government has. A man with the literal ability to read minds should not be allowed to walk this earth freely. Our country would be best served to keep him locked away in a cage somewhere in the Rocky Mountains and only let him out in dire situations when we really really need to know the maiden name of someone's oldest aunt. Before long, Oz is going to get sick and tired of blowing Whoopie Goldberg's mind on daytime television and is going to try and take over the world. He'll be able to do it too. There's nothing Oz The Mentalist isn't capable of. 

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Cyclists Who Ride on The Sidewalk

I'm not going to go as far as saying to ban all cyclists like Feitelberg once did. I'm pretty sure when he tried to do that he got kicked off the internet for a month. Plus, I need Door Dash delivered to my apartment in a timely manner at the drop of a hat any time I please. Also, if we get rid of bikes, the traffic in New York is going to get even worse. However… any cyclist who has ever rode their bike on the sidewalk should be burned at the stake. I'm of the belief that if I'm walking on the sidewalk, and a bike tries to whizz past me, I should be fully within my rights to kick his tires out from underneath him, close line him off his bike, or shove a large stick through the spokes of his tires so he flips over the front of his handlebars and skids across the pavement. Cyclists think rules don't apply to them. I once had a biker scold me for looking down at my phone while walking on the sidewalk. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't do that, but I also shouldn't have to be on the lookout for some asshole cruising 15 miles per hour down a 6-foot wide strip of concrete. Ride your bikes on the road and obey the traffic laws. When you get to your destination walk your bike to the door like a civilized adult. It's not that difficult.

The NCAA

Streeter Lecka. Getty Images.

I will say, the NCAA has had their balls cut off a bit since the NIL came around and college athletes now have more rights than ever. But they're still a wildly corrupt organization. At least I think. I'll level with you, I don't really know how they're corrupt now that athletes are being paid. But I'm pretty sure they're still bad. At minimum they deserve to be punished for all the bullshit they got away with up until a few years ago. They exploited athletes for decades. I say we blow the whole thing up and start fresh with a whole new system. 

Power Hungry Golf Starters

The Washington Post. Getty Images.

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I'm having a hard time putting this one into words, but I feel like if you're a golfer you know what I'm talking about. You know the 82-year old retiree who works at your local country club. He doesn't even get paid for it. He just gets free golf. But he treats the first tee like he's running air traffic control. 

For example, there could be nobody on the course whatsoever, and you want to walk 9 holes at your home club at 7:45pm. So you just tee off because there's nobody else around. Then when you get to the green you see the starter slowly driving up the cart path. He pulls up to the side of the green and looks at you like a disappointed father. He'll proceed to read you the riot act about how it's of the utmost importance that he's knows exactly what's happening on the course at all times. In reality the club doesn't care whatsoever. They're literally just giving this old dude a job so he has something to do with his life. Yet he fancies himself the course sheriff. So he'll radio in to the pro shop to check with the college student at the front desk if it's permissible for you to proceed with your round. And the employee will be like, "Dude I'm just smoking a bowl in the cart room right now waiting for the sun to go down so I can go home and smoke another bowl. I really don't care."

The starter eventually lets you play, but not before giving you a stern talking to. Then he'll drive away like he just saved the golf course. Those are the types of guys that make me not like golf. They gotta go.

The Vessel at Hudson Yards

Michael Ho Wai Lee. Shutterstock Images.

The Vessel is a big climbable sculpture in Manhattan. It looks stupid, and it serves no purpose. Or so we thought. Turns out it serves a great purpose. The Vessel has turned into the perfect place for New Yorkers to kill themselves. Just climb to the top of the Vessel, make your way to the edge, take one final look at the city that drove you to this moment, and plunge to your death. Half of New Yorkers are already suicidal. You can't give them such an easy option. I actually think they've since added suicide nets like they have at factories in Japan. But it's already too late for The Vessel. Every time I look at it I just think of people killing themselves. Why don't we just turn it into a parking lot. New York always needs more of those. 

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Sort of Related Not Very Fun Fact: The Hollywood sign in Los Angeles used to light up, but too many people were hanging themselves from it. So every few nights when you'd look up at the sign you'd just see some failed actor just hanging there.by his neck.

Jazz

It's just random notes. They're no rhyme or reason to it at all. I'm pretty sure I could grab a saxophone right now, hit a bunch of random buttons, and it would qualify is jazz music. It's like listening to dyslexia. And get rid of Karl Malone while we're at it.