A Penne For Your Thoughts.

There are three things I enjoy in life above all else…

1. Cured meats 
2. Minor League Baseball
3. Playfully poking fun at Italians, knowing full-well they’ll come back with Irish barbs

So when I found out today that the Staten Island Ferry Hawks change their name once a season to the Staten Italy Gabagools, my heart (and my gout toe) were tickled pink. 

Some attempts at having ethnically humorous names don’t always work out… I’d mention specifics in this blog, but they’d never get published, so I urge you to learn all about them in the Twisted History of Mascots. 

But unlike The Robstown Cotton Pickers, The Yuma High School Criminals, The Freeburg (Illinois) Community High School Midgets, and The Hereford Whitefaces, The Staten Italy Gabagools have managed to avoid cancelation in this hyper-sensitive era we live in. And that’s only because they play in Staten Island. 

So before you read this blog and decide to round up a group of your blue-haired friends to march across the Verrazano Bridge (AKA The Guinea Gangplank) to protest a Gabagool game, just know that nobody will give a fuck that you are there. At the very most, you’ll get a GTFOH and be offered an Italian ice from Ralph’s. 

And when that happens, accept the ice and shut the fuck up. 

Oh… And why don’t Italians have freckles?

Because they slide right off!

Abbiamo riso abbastanza, adesso pasta!

-Large