The Earthquake In New York Was Pretty Minor Unless You're The Dude Who Had His Nuts Being Cut Open During A Medical Procedure
What an absolute nightmare. Getting a vasectomy is already scary as hell. I remember getting mine.
You wake up the morning of and get to clearing out the ole pipes before you head in. I was sitting in the waiting room with a lump in my throat like never before. You have no idea what to expect, what's going to happen, or how much it will hurt. I'm a firm believe that you could put your dick on the pavement and have it run over and you'd be fine in a few minutes. The balls are different. Them bad boys are
So when you walk into the operating room, you are nervous.
When I went, I sat up on the table and was met by a young Air Force member. She was a medic and was responsible for getting you all prepped. What does that entail? Well, you have to pull down your britches and show her your dick and balls. She has gotta inspect to make sure that you are as hairless as a newborn rat. There can't be an ounce of hair left. If you miss a spot, she takes the shaving cream and takes care of it. You aren't allowed to hold a razor in the operating room for some reason. After she does that, she wipes your dick and balls off, and then the most embarrassing part happens.
Your hairless dick and balls are out. You're laying down with your pants and underoos around your ankles like you're a newly potty-trained toddler taking a piss. She pulls out this foam antiseptic and sprays it all over your junk and then uses her glove hand to rub it all in. Your dick is flying around the room like an earthworm coming to the surface at Brandon Walker's worm farm.
The doctor comes in, lifts your penis, and gets to work. He flops your dick to the side and starts to slice and dice. It doesn't really hurt that much. It's like a strong pinch to your nuts and then you smell a little burning flesh and then it's over. Not too bad. Doctors that do that procedure do it every fucking day. They are good at it and I had zero fears when my balls were in his delicate hands. In fact, it was kinda a special moment.
All of that changes if there's an earthquake. There's shaking. There's a new fear that arises deep in your belly. The doctor feels the quake too and, if there's one slip, you might not be able to cum. Terrible!
I'm not usually one to like all cap tweets but, in this scenario, it was totally justified.
PS: He should have done it two weeks ago. The first weekend of March Madness is perfect. You lay in bed and watch basketball all damn day. I did mine during the Wild Card round of the NFL playoffs and it was lovely. Whiskey, basketball, and slice-up testicles. There is simply nothing like it. Pray for Justin.
