Breaking Down Clem's Decision To Invest In A Digital Bird House Complete With Species-Identification Technology

I meant to talk about this sooner but have been super busy. That's on me. That's my fault. 

Big point here is that Clem (a) rocks and (b) so does nature. It's a perfect pairing. Clem is the kind of animal I'd watch a 30 minute national geographic on. Like how does he know all the cereals? Even the bad ones? How is he so lovable and warm? How come natural man can't be more like Clem? These are the questions I would lover to hear David Attenborough (RIP) answer and provide the necessary insight into what makes Clem unique to our ecosystem. 

I need it bad. 

I too am a bird guy: two birds every other Thanksgiving. 

I also have a bunch of bird feeders and hummingbird pools and a bunch of nature shit on my property. That's right I said property. That's what you call two acres on a hill in the woods with a half-mile gravel road and county law jurisdiction. That, my friends, is a property. And my experiences cultivating it have bred a profound appreciation for both nature and the people who protect it. 

With that, I can't say enough good things about a digital bird feeder. If it's this year's model, we're talking at least $149 before shipping and taxes, which is significantly more money than you'd ever think to spend on a bird feeder. 

But that's how investing works. You have to spend money to make it. There's no way to casually score a Tufted Titmouse without rolling up your sleeves and embracing modern technology. 

Kinda sick that Keith Hernandez has a favorite bird, which reminds me: Boog Sciambi sucks at calling Cubs games. 

What else we got? A Black-Capped Chickadee sounds like a hooker's trick but turns out it's a NEW BIRD

Absolutely fucking gorgeous. 

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And of coruse, a house finch. If you don't know any birds then learn about the house finch first. Aggressive but not dominant. Very clean with the seeds and does not abuse feeder privileges. Gorgeous single coated breast with a double edged wing pattern. Seriously here guys. Show the House Finch some fuckin respect. 

You don't need to tell Clem twice and you certainly don't need to remind me. I happen to love a Finch. 

Now the Owl? That's a different story. That's verde enchiladas.

I got an Owl on the barn an it dominates the property. It might be the most beautiful species of bird I have ever seen with my own two eyes. Wingspan so big you'd think Rodman was going up for a rebound when this big bastard leaves its perch. So quiet and deadly and majestic. I would have never known until I met him last month. 

His name is Emerson. I'll grab a pic for all you chair sniffing creeps. Until then maybe read a book about birds and show Clem some respect. $149 aint cheap.