It's Official: Deadspin is Dead

The Washington Post. Getty Images.

Like me, you may have wondered why just after lunch today, "Deadspin" suddenly appeared under Trending on your Twitter timeline after years of irrelevance. And why this oily bohunk was popping bottles in a pool:

Well here's your answer, in gory detail:

Source - Popular [Author's note: One word in, and The Daily Mail is off to a shaky start in this article] sports blog Deadspin has been sold to a European startup firm Lineup Publishing, with the website's new owners not retaining any of the current editorial staff. 

Deadspin had been owned by G/O Media since 2019 before Monday's sale. 

Deadspin's writers and editors were given 30 minutes notice of losing their jobs before being locked out of their company laptops, per senior editor Julie DiCaro.   

'I do want to make it clear that we were not actively shopping Deadspin,' G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller said in a memo to staff, which was obtained by DailyMail.com.

'The rationale behind the decision to sell included a variety of important factors that include … tough competition in the sports journalism sector …' Spanfeller continued.

'Deadspin’s new owners have made the decision to not carry over any of the site’s existing staff and instead build a new team more in line with their editorial vision for the brand,' Spanfeller's memo continued. 

'While the new owners plan to be reverential to Deadpin’s unique voice, they plan to take a different content approach regarding the site’s overall sports coverage. This unfortunately means that we will be parting ways with those impacted staff members, who were notified earlier today,' Spanfeller added.

To Dave's point, it's a fair question to ask how many times this now former home of the Coolest Kids on the Internet:

… has to die before it stays dead. And how many times his crush Julie DiCaro can keep losing the same job. I was hoping to get an answer, because, call me a hopeless romantic, call me what you will, but the "Will they or won't they?" exotic mating dance between these two has been making my heart glow for many years, and even more hit pieces from her ex-employer. But unfortunately I hit Dead(spin) end:

The good news is she'll now have more time to get crackin' on "The feminist sports book sequel we've all been waiting for." 

Speaking strictly from selfish reasons, the even better news is that I and everyone else at Barstool can breathe a sigh of relief, safe in the knowledge that Deadspin's demise means there's one less threat to us from [checks Jim Spanfeller's email] that "tough competition in the sports journalism sector."  I mean, with their unique brand of hilarious content, clever wordplay and insightful reportage off the market, it might open up a lane for us to succeed in. Then maybe we can start monetizing our content, draw paychecks, and stop having to live off government handout, trips to the food bank, and the kindness of strangers. 

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Hell, there were times back in the mid-2000s, I was just hoping they'd just notice we exist and honor us with a mention. Now we're still surviving and they're out of business for the 100th time. I never thought I'd live to see this day. 

However, with good news there is almost always comes the bad. This is no exception. There's an innocent victim in all this. Someone who did not deserve to see Deadspin dragged down to the end of G/O Media's driveway with a cardboard "FREE SPORTS WEBSITE" sign taped to it. And that of course is this little fella:

Sadly, Holden Armenta, proud member of the Chumash Tribe of Nevada, just got to see his beloved Chiefs win the third Super Bowl of his young life. He's enjoyed an outpouring of support from the public after his family was smeared as racists by Deadspin. But it would appear they'll never get a dime out of Deadspin. Because you cannot get blood out of a stone. Even 100% of nothing is nothing. All they can come away with is the satisfaction of knowing their lawsuit might have been the death blow that put this company out of its misery, once and for all. And for that, I hope they'll accept the thanks of a grateful nation.