Antonio Brown is Confirmed Not Writing His Own Tweets
I wasn't planning on getting into this on Friday night. I left the Barstool NY office a little early this afternoon (shocking, I know), because I've been having excruciating tooth pain. I made it to my dentist in the West Village by 5:30 PM, where I had a brief consultation, and set up a time next Thursday to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed. But during that whole thing, I got caught up in something on X.com.
In case you haven't been paying attention, former Hall of Fame caliber WR and overall terrible person Antonio Brown has been tweeting incessantly at Barstool over the past couple weeks. He even had the nerve to call us crackers (no idea where he got that from, have you ever heard of Ebony & Pat Bev?). But like it or not, he's been funny. All things considered, he's been crushing Twitter lately. For example...
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And that's just a small sample size. But he truly has been funny. Plus, he's successfully gotten the attention of Barstool Sports. Now, that's not especially tough to do when you're one of the greatest wide receivers in NFL history. People at Barstool are desperate for relevancy (i.e. me). But his ability to tweet well truly just came out of nowhere. All of the sudden Antonio Brown, mashed potatoes brain and all, is a Twitter powerhouse.
With all my heart I wanted to believe it was him writing his own tweets. As horrific of a person as he is, part of me wanted to believe that this staple child of CTE was personally on his phone, broken brain and all, firing off hilarious tweets on his own accord. Everybody on the internet told me it wasn't really him, but I ignored them. I wanted to live in a world where Antonio Brown was crushing Twitter. I was living in that fantasy world for as long as I possibly could. But for whatever reason, this tweet he had today was the final straw for me..
Idk what it was about this tweet that tipped the scales for me, but I refuse to believe AB is personally taking the time on a Friday afternoon to make Sean McDermott 9/11 jokes. He's not that on the ball. I don't even think he understands the origin of the Sean McDermott 9/11 joke. I refuse to believe he doesn't have someone running his account for him.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything. I know almost anyone with a brain could already tell that these tweets weren't coming from AB himself. I know exposing this guy is a 1 out of 10 on the difficulty scale. But someone had to say it. It's just not him. AB isn't tweeting any of this shit. He's not good at Twitter. He's clearly hired somebody to run his account for him, and we have to stop acting like he's doing it himself.
I called him out today. His responses to my tweets only further cemented in my mind that he's paying (or not paying) someone to tweet for him.
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I'm sorry AB but you're not tweeting any of this. You're just not that self aware. As funny as it might be to think Antonio Brown in all his CTE glory has suddenly become a force on Twitter, it's just not true. It's unequivocally not him. Again, I know I'm not splitting an atom here. We all knew that deep down. But someone had to officially say it.
What I'm most interested in now is who in fact is running his Twitter account. I've had a few people reach out to me on Twitter with one of my favorite conspiracy theories of all time. They think somebody in particular is running his account for him. I'm not going to say this person's name (out of fear of being fired). I'll just let you read the tweets and decide for yourself.
That's might be my favorite conspiracy theory of all time. I don't think it's true. I'm 99% sure it's not true. I think AB is probably just exploiting some die-hard Steelers fan to run his account for him free of charge. But I sure do love a good conspiracy.
I'm sorry AB. I enjoyed your tweets for a while. But I refuse to believe you're on the ball enough to be making any of them yourself. If you really want to prove me wrong, I'm here to talk whenever you'd like.