Gotta Support The Team: Oakland's Student Section Was Waxing Each Other's Nipples And Getting Goddamn Tattoos To Distract Free Throw Shooters

Next on Jerry After Dark! Really this just goes to show you that you gotta leave it all on the floor in March. Oh you were screaming to distract a free throw shooter? That's cute. I went 40-year Old Virgin and waxed my pal's nipple to distract a free throw shooter. Life is different in the mid-major world. You won't see some booster from any big time school dare to do this with his boys. They'll just sit there in their sweaters or polo shirts and clap a bit too loud for their liking. 

I know the free throw shooting distraction game has been a bit overplayed over the year. You had ASU and their curtain. You have all these other traditions and what not, but Oakland's swim team has set the bar. They started it earlier this year with haircuts. 

That's fine for the regular season. We're talking the Horizon League Tournament, a Tournament many think Oakland will win. You can't just get haircuts. Oh a bald head, the horror. Walk a mile in my shoes every day, pal! As for the tattoo? I'm skeptical. I'll say it. I need to see the finished product to prove it's real. Need to know wha he went with. A fake tattoo? Sure, same process in terms of distraction but you lose points for that. 

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This just goes to show you why we should all love college basketball. It's for everyone. Big schools, little schools, hairless fellas, hairy men. It doesn't matter! You come together to support the boys on the floor. That's all that matters. Win and advance. Come up with something better the next game. You got some time to brainstorm, I'd advise not falling asleep or reading encyclopedias, just trust me on that one. You know what? If Kentucky wins the national title, I'll let someone wax my nipples. That's a promise. I won't ever wax my chest unless that happens.