Hot Naked Crazy Woman Wielding a Mace Terrorizes Venice Beach

Venice is one of my favorite places in the United States. It's nasty. If you drive a mile or so up the Pacific Coast, you'll find the markedly nicer beach town of Santa Monica. Santa Monica features cleaner restaurants, a lovely pier with a great big Ferris wheel, and significantly less scary inhabitants. Fuck that beach. I'll take Venice over Santa Monica any day. It's more affordable, the air is a thick layer of weed smoke & smog, and at any moment you're liable to be trampled by a rogue gang of skateboarding teens. And if you're one of the lucky ones, you may even be challenged to a duel by a beautiful naked woman wielding a mace.

Unless I'm forgetting something, this is the first time in my life I've seen a video of a naked lunatic fighting in public, and thought to myself, "Damn, I wish this wasn't blurred out." If you're familiar with the Hot-Crazy Scale, where a girl must be "x" amount of hot to deal with "y" amount of crazy, hot-naked-fighting-Venice lady ranks off the charts.

She breaks the scale. If I were single, and I met her at a bar, I'd be torn between whether or not to propose to her on sight, or buy a one-way ticket to Thailand and change my entire identity.

Ok I'm probably exaggerating her hotness a bit, but you get my point. That's the behavior of a deranged homeless crack-head who's been terrorizing Skid Row for 20 years. Not a smoking hot woman.

But to be fair to hot-naked-fighting lady, at the start of the video, she's not the person with the mace. Clothed woman appears to have swung the first weapon. Although I have a feeling if we saw what all led up to this video, we'd find that both weapons originate from naked lady. At least the mace. I can't imagine an innocent bystander having mace access. A mace is something only the craziest of naked women have at their disposal. Even in Venice. 

Also, what a preposterous move by less-attractive-fully-clothed woman to relinquish control of her weapon. I don't know if she thought her mace throw would serve as a knockout blow? Perhaps she thought it would cause her to retreat, or maybe distract her long enough to make a clean escape. But to give an unhinged naked woman who's looking for a fight the upper-hand in the form of a spiked bat… someone who's clearly capable of anything… that's an ill-advised street fighting strategy. 

I suppose in the end, the fully-clothed woman was able to make her escape once naked lady acquired both weapons. You have to wonder what possible reason she would have engaged with crazy lady in the first place. Of course, as with any wild video on the internet, it would be irresponsible to not throw out the idea that the video is staged. That's always a possibility. But I'm choosing to believe it's real. I'm also choosing to believe that the police never arrested her, and that hot-naked-fighting lady is still in that same spot, challenging everyone she sees to a duel. I want her to forever be a staple of the beach. If you want to walk through Venice, you'll have to deal with her. 

"Here we have the Venice Canals, here's the skatepark where some of the greatest skateboarders of all-time got their start, and here's the naked woman who challenges you to a fight."

That's the Venice I know and love.