We've Finally Heard from Patriots New GM Eliot Wolf and it's Safe to Assume We've Seen the Last of Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe

Maddie Malhotra. Getty Images.

Any time we experience regime change, you can always count on it beginning with a dramatic flair. Some grand symbolic gesture to announce there's a new sheriff in town. Every time we get a new President, he takes the oath of office, ostentatiously strides into the White House, sits behind the Resolute Desk and signs an executive order in order to proclaim, "See? I kept my promise" on some pet project or other. So that he can then spend the next four years ignoring all the other things he said on the campaign trail and focus on the real business of getting us into foreign wars and fingering interns. 

The regime change in New England has been somewhat less dramatic. Until today. When director of scouting and now de facto GM Eliot Wolf put on a demonstration of how things are going to be different on his watch by boldly and decisively … taking questions at The Combine. 

Which wouldn't move the needle on 31-of-31 other franchises. But here it's unheard of. Bill Belichick treated these  pressers like it was witness testimony in court. If you wanted him to appear, it better be under subpoena or a contractual obligation. Otherwise, you can piss all the way off; he's only in Indianapolis on business.

But Wolf's administration is committed to doing things differently. This is less like a new president than it's like when Gorbachev took over the Soviet Union, opened things up with Glasnost, and in a few years the Cold War was over thanks to Rocky Balboa. 

It would be a stretch to say Wolf revealed his grand plan or really made any news at all, apart from the very fact he was a Patriots GM actually talking into a mic. It was all pretty pro forma. He thanked the Krafts for their support, while assuring everyone they're not involved in the day-to-day decision making. Confirmed that he's working closely with Jerod Mayo, but the final say on all personnel matters belongs to him. Nothing that you wouldn't expect. Pretty much what you'd get if you asked a chatbot to write a new GM's introductory press conference remarks.

But when it came to the two most important issues facing this team, it's not hard to crack his code.

Asked what he plans to do with the No. 3 pick: 

“Yeah, I would say all options are on the table and we haven’t heard anything specifically."

And asked what he looks for in a quarterback:

"First of all, being someone that can elevate his teammates. Someone that your teammates wanna play for. I think that's an extremely underrated thing that people don't really talk about that much. Leadership's important, and obviously-- you know, physical talent. …

"Body language on the field is very important at that position. You don't want a guy that's throwing his hands up after a bad play or you can see him physically pointing at somebody or-- you know. Body language is important. Everybody's looking to the quarterback."

I'm no Alan Turing (I've already exceeded my limit of historical references for one blog, so I promise no more), but Wolf pretty much lays it out here for all to see. My advice to Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe is not to buy property or sign a long term lease in the greater Foxboro area. 

I mean, how else can you interpret this? If we play word association and I give you the terms, "someone that can elevate his teammates, "physical talent," or good "body language," does your mind immediate jump to Jones or Zappe? I say this as the biggest Jones stan in existence up until about October of last year, but not one of those apply. I liked him coming out of Alabama for his ability to process information, read a defense, and make good decisions. That ship sailed a thousand covered receivers, collapsed pockets and terrible throws ago. And I've never blessed with the faith in Bailey so many of the rest of you have shown. The best argument I've ever heard in favor of him is that he's not Jones. Which, while not comforting, at least has the benefit of being objectively true.

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But when it comes to leadership and inspiring body language, neither guy is exactly Washington standing in the boat crossing the Delaware. (Whoops. That one slipped. Please disregard.)

On a typical Sunday over the last two seasons, Jones has looked like he's ready to pelt his receivers with rocks and garbage before he'd ever throw them another pass. Whereas Zappe tends to follow his mistakes with the Charlie Brown walk:

Together, they've competed for the league lead in "throwing his hands up after a bad play or you can see him physically pointing at somebody" that Wolf specifically referenced. I'm sure he didn't have the same problem with it in 2019 when Tom Brady was ready to kill N'Keal Harry with Force lightning from his fingertips. For the obvious reason that Brady had earned every right to speak with whatever body language he damn well pleased. But the new boss is signalling loud and clear his done with his quarterbacks throwing bitch fits as they walk off the field at the end of another failed drive. 

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None of which is definitive proof he's drafting a quarterback with that third overall pick. But since this is all we have to go on, I think it's idiotic to assume otherwise. It's obvious the new GM is as done with these QBs as the rest of us are. And I take that as a good sign.