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Multi-Millionaire Who Sold All Her Belongings & Moved Into a Van Has Life Figured Out Better Than The Rest of Us

Daily Mail - A multimillionaire has revealed why ditching the lavish life and trading her mansion  for a van was the 'best decision' she has ever made.

Caitlin Pyle, 36, from Orlando, Florida, once boasted a grand eight-story home complete with 18 rooms before deciding to give it all up to become a digital nomad and live on $30 a day. 

After getting divorced in 2019 and selling her proofreading company for a whopping $4 million, she suffered a 'breakdown' and decided to adopt a minimal lifestyle.

Now, Caitlin is happier than ever after she gave up her designer goods and costly  living situation to travel the world in her Mercedes Sprinter van, which has a full kitchen, and solar panels. 

Caitlin Pyle, a multi-millionaire who started a "proof-reading" company, which is a concept I, nor anybody else at Barstool Sports has EVER considered utilizing, is living my dream. Sort of... To call "leaving everything behind and moving into a van" my dream isn't quite accurate. It's more like a recurring thought I have every time my exceptionally comfortable life presents me with a minor piece of adversity.

Doesn't it occasionally sound appealing to you to give up entirely? Maybe your life sucks. Maybe your alarm goes off every Tuesday morning in the winter at 5:30 AM to take your weak wristed son to hockey practice. Practice for a team he doesn't even care to be a part of. But you forced hockey upon him as a last ditch effort to mold him into a person that you can at least pretend to have a semblance of respect for. Now you're out thousands of dollars spent on hockey gear and ice time, and you feel nothing but shame and regret as you sip your coffee while watching practice alongside the fathers of children who actually have the ability to lift the puck off the ice, and jump over the boards on a line change instead of relying on the coach to open the bench door for him. Your efforts to make your son an athlete only made you resent him even more. If only he wasn't born with your bitch wife's genes Your bitch wife who you don't even love any more. But you had this fucking kid with her because she's too irresponsible to keep up with her fucking birth control. It's literally just one pill a day how hard can that be? Your life sucks. You can't tell me you've never thought to drop your son off at the rink, trade in your Honda Civic for an old beat-up conversion van, and drive to a remote parking lot in California where you succumb to alcoholism and spend the rest of your life working as a drunk bus boy for a San Diego beach bar. Maybe you'll even make bartender some day. Isn't there some part of you that thinks that sounds kind of nice?

Sorry I got caught up living out my greatest fear in that last paragraph. But regardless, there's always been something appealing about van life to me. To ditch all my responsibilities, go completely off the grid, and have nobody to rely on me but myself. I could get on board with that. Don't get me wrong, I surely don't want to do it. I consider it a "break glass in case of emergency" move to keep in my back pocket in case shit hits the fan one day (It's either that or move to Cambodia. The Won Ton Don once told me Cambodia is the best place in the world to start a new life). 

I actually have a bit of van living experience myself. I lived in a van in Los Angeles back in 2016. But I didn't live the van life correctly. My friend's broken down conversion van doubled as his storage unit. It was littered with his old clothing and odd items he'd accumulated primarily through shoplifting. Items he would never use, but for some reason refused to throw out. I couldn't travel in the van. I had to change the oil once a month just so it would have the juice to move a block down the road on street sweeping day. 

But Caitlin Pyle has life figured out. She has plenty enough money in her bank account that she can do whatever she wants for the rest of life. According to the pictures in the Daily Mail article, she has both a shower AND a toilet in her van. She doesn't even have to go through the hassle of finding a Planet Fitness every time she needs to shit, shave, and shower. She's retired at 36 years old. She can travel the whole country. She can pick up and move wherever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants to.

To be fair, unlike me when I lived in LA, she's not going to have an old homeless Chinese man knocking on her van door every morning with a shopping cart to take her trash away for her (I think he was selling the trash. But I never actually asked since he didn't speak English. But this dude would take literally ANYTHING that I didn't want. He would have taken tissue full of cum if I handed it to him. Now that I'm typing this out, I'm wondering if he wanted me to tip him? But I really don't think that was it. Because I would watch him walk along the sidewalk and pick up things like empty chip bags. He must have been making some money off that trash somehow)

Even if she doesn't have the luxury of a friendly 70-year old Chinese trash collector, she's living the life. I envy Caitlin Pyle. If I ever fall ass backwards into some sort of weird Barstool Sports contest that nets me a $100k, and it happens to be at a time where me and my fiancée are on the fritz, I'm extremely liable to bail on everything and embrace van life. I'll just take my dog and hit the road. I'd probably go to Miami. Miami is my favorite city in America. I'll find a parking spot somewhere on South Beach, bathe (and piss) in the ocean, workout at the free gym on the beach, lean Spanish. God damn it that would be awesome. Dave Portnoy might even pay me to keep blogging part time. That's a hell of a way to live.

But again.. I don't want to do this... I'm happy where I am now. I very much enjoy having a king sized bed and a big screen TV with every streaming app in the world. But still, if it ever came down to it, that's not the worst the worst life to live.