THE EMPIRE GETS STRUCK BACK

Yesterday marked the 45th Anniversary of "Taco Tuesday," so I spent last night preparing and eating an exquisite Mexican meal with my beloved family. Meanwhile, Jerry Thornton (whose family HATES him AND who has always lived in the shadow of his brother Billy Bob) was hard at work alone in his damp basement, eating 3 Lean Cuisines and penning a very good blog about Gina Carano from the perspective of a Star Wars fan with common sense.

Unbeknownst to me, his blog hit while I was making guacamole.

After dinner, I casually sat down to write my own opinions on the matter confidently thinking no one else would touch it except Dante, TOTALLY FORGETTING Old Balls could be all over it as well.

So should I scrap mine?... Probably... But let's change my thumbnail to something different from Jerry's and try to publish it nonetheless... God knows we'll get multiple takes on Drake's meaty dick in the upcoming days.

I'll continue on as if you guys haven't read Jerry's account, and I urge you NOT to read his blog after mine because Jerry is a very talented writer (whose family hates him), and I don't need the unfair comparisons.

Here we go...

Do you guys know this woman?

Esther Lin. Getty Images.

For those who aren’t aware, Gina Carano is a mixed martial artist-turned-actress who was fired from her job as a character on Disney’s The Mandalorian in February of 2021 after the "House of Mouse" decided her social media posts were harmful.

When I heard the news of her firing, I didn’t care enough to dig through her timeline to see what specifically got her canned, but my interest peaked today when I read the following news on Twitter while enjoying a taco…

For the TLDR crowd, Elon Musk had offered to pay the legal fees for anyone who was wrongly fired for the supposed “free speech” they exercised on his platform. Gina’s predicament fit the criteria Musk was looking to defend, so Gina Carano is going after George Lucas and Disney for her pound of flesh with the financial backing of one of the world’s richest men.

Now you’re caught up, and now you get to pick a side… Or not… I don’t care.

But (like Jerry) I am siding with Carano.

Listen, I know a fifty-something former Wall Street exec siding with a conservative might cause a considerable amount of eye-rolling and at least one sarcastic twat to lisp, “Shocker!”, but hear me out.

Even if Carano’s tweets were batshit crazy… And I invite you to go check them out… Who the fuck cares?

She’s Gina fucking Carano, and she doesn’t matter once you turn off your TV. 

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Athletes, musicians, and actors say whacky and politically charged shit all the time, and nothing gets done to them because it is simply their right to have opinions once they leave the court, stage, or set.

I know I am beating a dead horse here. Still, we live in a world where a known pedophilic sodomite like Roman Polanski gets a standing ovation from the Hollywood elite. But Gina Carano gets thrown from the elite’s ranks because she jokingly said her pronouns were “Beep boop beep” (an R2D2-related joke that only Jerry Thornton laughed at).

You may have gotten a pair of pajamas from your adopted daughter on Father’s Day, but Woody Allen got a blowjob from his… And yet Gina Carano is persona-non-grata to people who are clamoring to be in Woody’s next project.

Celebrities are stupid. I’ve met a shitload of them in the last five years, and intellectually, they almost always cease to impress me. So the fact this young woman got canned for her beliefs while so many others get a pass for their equally kooky posts is hypocritical, and I hope she takes TENS OF MILLIONS out of the pockets of those who decided to remake Snow White without dwarves.

“Oh, Large, you’re just saying this because you think she is/was hot.”

Correct.

But you give a pass to an abusive athlete who can catch a pass.

Or you sing a different tune to various rock and roll perverts because they can carry a tune.

So I have a horse in this race because…………. Fuck!…………… I can’t think of a horse metaphor to fit here other than the fact Drake is (apparently) hung like one.

But you know what I mean.

Fuck Disney… Fuck Jerry Thornton… And #teamcarano.

Beep - bop - boop. (that’s Droid for “Take a report.”)

-Large