Taylor Swift Threatens to Sue the UCF Junior Who Tracks Her Insane Amount of Private Jet Travel

Faith Moran. Getty Images.

You might think that living life in Taylor Swift's skin is just about the peak of human existence on the planet. Nothing but beauty, talent, universal adoration, preposterous wealth, awards being rained down upon you, free access to NFL owners' boxes, and an absolute lock on America's most lucrative demographic: Young, white suburban women. 

But it's not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows to be her. There is a flip side to Taylor Swift's fame coin. That burden that only the most adored famous people have to carry around like a stylish designer bag laden with heavy stones. 

It's a little thing called scrutiny. And Swift will have none of it if her army of lawyers have anything to say:

Source - Taylor Swift's attorneys are threatening legal action against a college student who runs social media accounts tracking her private jets movements – and the amount of CO2 they produce.

The 14-time Grammy award winner's lawyers sent a letter to Jack Sweeney, 21, demanding that he stop logging her flights and locations.

Sweeney, a junior at the University of Central Florida, has run several accounts that track the flight paths of planes and helicopters owned by celebrities, billionaires, politicians and other public figures [using] publicly available data. …

In a statement to DailyMail.com Sweeney said:  ‘I think it’s important to note that nowhere do I intend for harm. I actually think Swift has some good songs." …

Authored by Katie Wright Morrone from Venable law firm, the strongly-worded cease and desist accused Sweeney of treating it like a 'game'.

'While this may be a game to you, or an avenue that you hope will earn you wealth or fame, it is a life-or-death matter for our Client,' Morrone added. …

He said that the threats of legal action came at a time where Swift was facing a huge backlash over the environmental impacts of her flights while on the road for her Era's Tour and also jetting across the US to watch her new beau Travis Kelce play in the NFL.

'This information is already out there, her team thinks they can control the world', Sweeney said. …

After being crowned 2022's biggest celebrity polluter of the year, her team were quick to hit back, saying that she loans her planes out and also bought double the amount of carbon emissions tokens than she needed for her touring travel. …

Based on statistics tracked by Taylor Swift's Jets on Instagram, the hitmaker's trips have produced 138 tons of CO2 emission to date.

The singer would need to plant 2,282 trees and allow these to grow for 10 years in order to offset the environmental damage caused by her flights.

It is the equivalent of the energy used by 17 houses in one year, or the electricity use of 26.9 homes for one year, according to the Greenhouse Gas Equivalencies Calculator.

So this reaction by Taylor's attorneys dovetails nicely with a conspiracy theory I deemed plausible back when she and Kelce first started (allegedly) dating. One that I found totally plausible:

Source - It is being discussed on social media that she specifically chose the “New York Jets” game to allegedly bury the reports of her CO2 emissions. Thanks to Search Engine Optimisation, if anyone searches “Taylor Swift Jet” in Google, the results will point towards links, photos and stories related to her and Kelce attending the game.

This tracks in the same way in which the Disney Corp. chose to make a movie out of an obscure Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale so that when you put "disney frozen" into you search engine, you got the popular animated film instead of how Walt's head is floating in an ice bath in a lab someplace.

But just because Taylor Swift is using spewing the fuel of a year's worth of you and 16 of your bourgeois friends or enough electricity to power your entire neighborhood for 12 months to get from Point A to Point B to Point Z every other day, doesn't mean it's anybody's business. Granted, the FAA knows, Air Traffic Control knows, every other plane in the skies knows and the internet knows about all the other planes. But that doesn't mean we all get to know about hers. 

And for sure some UCF Knight whose basketball team is 12th in the Big 12 isn't entitled to that information. And he can drop that "she has some good songs," routine right fucking now. Damning her with such faint praise is like saying "Shakespeare had some good plays" or "Einstein had some OK ideas." It's only adding insult to injury and he's just making it worse for himself.

Besides, she bought the carbon credits. I'd have preferred she bought them from me (Venmo me, everyone; I'm practically giving them away.) If the atmosphere bursts into flames in a few years, the crops fail, and we all end up scratching out a bleak existence in a This is Us-like dystopia, don't blame the ones who bought the credits. I mean, what do we expect? Taylor to fly first class? Or one of those private sleeping pods international business travelers take? Or for her to plant 2,282 trees and leave them standing for 10 years? Just so she can get to a Chiefs game in under an hour? 

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Forget it, mister. If a few miles of ice cap and a few polar bears have to be sacrificed, that's the price we have to pay to get four Albums of the Year. We can all agree to disagree on which celebrities are entitled to fly PJs without being criticized for their carbon footprints. Just as long as we're unanimous that Taylor has earned immunity for life.