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OC Ben Johnson May Have Stayed In Detroit To Avoid A Diss Track From Eminem

Eminem is the GOAT. I’m not going to sit here and act like I am an expert on all things hip-hop (shocking, I know,) but Eminem is my GOAT. One of the cool things about this most recent Lions playoff run has been seeing him at every Lions game. He is a true celebrity fan, not one of these fake hacks you see sometimes. I hate the fake celebrity fans that only show up when a team makes a playoff every five years just so they can get their five minutes of press and promote whatever shitty movie or show they’re working on. Marshall Mathers is a real Lions fan, and based on what he tweeted yesterday about Ben Johnson, I think he might believe he’s on the team. 

There are several things in life that I am trying to avoid. I prefer not to go to prison. I want to avoid a bear attack at all costs and make sure to avoid being part of an Eminem diss track one day. As I said, I'm not a huge expert on hip-hop, but the one thing I know is that you don't fuck with Slim Shady. If you do that, bad things happen. Ja Rule went from one of the highest-selling hip-hop artists in the world to the fucking Fyre Fest guy because Eminem put him in a body bag. This is the artist who destroyed Machine Gun Kelly to the point that he had to switch genres. Do not fuck with him. Ben Johnson is aware of this, as he made the wonderful decision to come back to the Lions and be their offensive coordinator next season, which surprised many of us. 

One of the most charming but also insane things about Eminem is that you can't really tell when he's joking. This guy wrote a diss track about a comedic dog puppet. He takes shots of the most random celebrities just for shits and giggles. He did make a reference to Ndamukong Suh back on "Marshall Mathers LP2," so I wouldn't put it past him to write a Ben Johnson diss track had he decided to walk away from Detroit, even if it was for better money. What is the extra money worth the embarrassment? It might not have been. 

The hype for the Detroit Lions coming into this year was pretty massive. Season tickets sold out in record time. I can't imagine what sales are going to look like for next season. We might get an Eminem appearance at every home game. The expectations will be astronomical, and to that, I say "good." No more pussy shit. Get back to the NFC championship game and win the damn thing, but don't LOSE YOURSELF. in the process, if you know what I mean. Yuck.