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Some Chicago Dude Is Suing Meta For $75,000,000 Because A Bunch Of Women In The "Are We Dating The Same Guy?" Facebook Group Said He SUCKS

CHICAGO (CBS) -- 

A Chicago man is suing after his name and photo were included in a disparaging post on a popular Facebook group called, "Are We Dating the Same Guy?"

There are several Facebook "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups – including one that is local to Chicago/Naperville/Elgin. Nikko D'Ambrosio said the Facebook group's local chapter has ruined his reputation – and he is hoping a new Illinois law will help.

D'Ambrosio is seeking $75 million in damages. His first hearing is scheduled for March 11 at 9 a.m.

Right off the bat: After learning of this Facebook group, I instantly Googled it to head on over and see what all the hubbub was about. Unfortunately chicks have this group locked down like it's Fort Knox. Here's the splash page with a screen shot of the rules that will result in a permaban from the group: 

Hoooo buddy women are sneaky little buttholes…and yeah… this guy ain't ever dating anyone again. At least not with his name sullied like it allegedly has been by this group. That's why my initial reaction was that he should just pack up, move to Arizona and start a new life with a new name. Sorta like a mobster-turned-rat that flipped on his family heading to witness protection. 

But that's when it dawned on me: this cat might be a newly minted $75,000,000-aire soon enough. Want to rehabilitate the reputation you have amongst all women of Chicago in one fell swoop to checks notes 88,000 women in your vicinity? 

This is what you do: Get rich. REALLY rich. Doesn't matter how, just acquire lots and lots of money, and if it's through illegal or amoral means, just lie about how you got it all. Say you're a hedge fund guy or something, chicks don't have any clue what that means anyways and it sounds like a rich guy job, so just go with something like that.

After that? Boom, women slip in puddles of their own wetness just at the sight of your face and reputation = rehabilitated. They won't care that you're a clingy little possessive bitch. In a way, this guy is a genius.