By All Accounts Jo Koy Completely Bombed Hosting The Golden Globes Last Night
Full disclosure, I didn't watch the Golden Globes yesterday. Last night (because I work at Barstool Sports) I watched the first half of the Bills vs Dolphins game. Unfortunately, I missed a large portion of the second half because Robert Griffin III tweeted out (and has since deleted for some reason) that he was going live with the very white family of a college football recruit named Noah Knigga to have an open discussion about his last name.
So as you might imagine I was fully captivated by that for a solid 45 minutes. I nearly forgot entirely that there was a football game on at all. But anyways, back to the Golden Globes. This Jo Koy guy, according to every single Golden Globes related post on the internet, and every clip I've seen with my own eyes, ate gigantic bags of shit all night long.
To his defense, as he made abundantly clear in his opening monologue, Jo Koy was only given 10 days notice before agreeing to host. As a man who bombed at open mics in Los Angeles for 10 months straight back in 2016, I would not suggest addressing how hard you're bombing mid-bomb. Addressing how hard your bombing is a staple of the open mic community. I can tell you from experience. I've done it plenty. But it's probably not something you should be using as a crutch when you're one of the highest earning comedians in the world hosting the Golden Globes.
Also, let's pour one out for this 19-year old (or so he says) comedy writer on Twitter who's sad because Jo Koy called out his shitty jokes.
Obviously, two things can be true here. Jo Koy, that was lame of you to throw your writer's under the bus. Additionally, Patrick Doran (@lunch_enjoyer), your jokes were trash kid. But hey, you're "19-years old" and got a job writing for the Golden Globes. That's pretty cool. Sure, you may never get a job again after that performance, but not many people can say they've been where you are at 19. Congratulations Patrick. (unless you're just trolling us and I ate the trash)
The weirdest part of Jo Koy's monologue was the Taylor Swift joke.
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That wasn't a great joke. It wasn't even a good joke. But it was the most innocent, harmless joke I've ever heard. Nothing malicious about it. It wasn't mean. It was a lighthearted, nothing of a joke about Taylor Swift & the NFL. Which has arguably been the biggest pop culture story of the year. It's wild for Taylor Swift to get offended there. Was she not expecting any mention of her and Travis Kelce? I'm honestly surprised Taylor Swift didn't just laugh that off. I have it on good authority she's the coolest, most down to earth, most relatable celebrity the world has ever seen.
Just an all around terrible night for Jo Koy. I challenge you to run a Twitter search for his name and find me one video of the audience, or anyone on Twitter reacting positively to anything he did last night.
Hosting the Golden Globes should have been easy for Jo Koy. The bar for funny at the Golden Globes is so low. You know how low it is simply by looking at their nominations for Best Stand-Up Comedian on Television.
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All you had to do was be as funny as Wanda Sykes. There's no way Wanda Sykes is bringing the heat in 2024. Off the top of my head, Shane Gillis, Nick Mullen, Nate Bargatze, Mark Normand, Louis C.K., and Stavros Halkias all had specials more deserving than anyone on that list.
One last thing. Give me a break with the people who are offended by his "sexist" jokes. C'mon guys. You have every reason to be offended by how unfunny he was, but all of those jokes were beyond harmless. The problem isn't that Jo Koy was problematic. He wasn't problematic enough. The only way to succeed at these award shows is to go so hard, and piss off so many celebrities, that you'll never be invited to host again. That's how you host an award show. Shoutout Ricky Gervais and Norm Macdonald.
And shoutout Jennifer Lawrence. She had the only clip I saw from last night that made me laugh in the slightest.