In Defense Of Hank Lockwood Having No Clue How The NFL Draft Works
This is a tough clip. A very tough clip. Like one of those times in grammar school when the teacher is going up and down the aisles asking questions and the one kid just cannot get the answer and they stand over them just POUNDING the question. "WHAT IS 9 TIMES 8? " and the poor kid is just rattling off numbers like a fantasy baseball auction draft and NONE of them are close. You want to help or wish you could but part of you just sits there in silence going ... well ain't least it ain't me. This is a rough look for my man Hank but let me jump to his defense.
And my defense is this ... He's a masshole Pats fan. I mean that in the most endearing and less confrontational way possible. He grew up watching the Patriots in the beginning of his prime football watching years absolute dominate the NFL. He was at Super Bowls ... literally at Super Bowls. He met guys on the team. He was celebrating on Duck Boats like it was morning commute. The Patriots regular season was a way to kill time for 20 years. Literally couldn't give a fuck. Robert Kraft used to send the ticket packages to season ticket holders with only the Divisional and AFC title game in them. Didn't even fucking bother with the Wild Card. Just the elitist asshole type shit you ever saw, and rightfully so. They were a dynasty.
And I'll let you in on a little secret ... EVERY PATS FAN IS AN ELITIST ASSHOLE. AND THEY DESERVE TO BE. When you win Super Bowls you can act like that. I have told this story before, on a bachelor party once to a game in Ann Arbor I was with a bunch of Pats fans who happen to be on a bye that week. During the London game, they would make comments how gross of a game it was involving the Giants. Myself and the. other Giants fan there kind of brushed it off. Then at the bar during the entire 1pm slate they all kept asking "how do you guys watch this shit? ", referring to the fact that the NFL was so beneath them as Pats fans. Just an all time nose in the air attitude, and again completely justified when your season started in the AFC title game every year.
To think a Pats fan would give a fuck about how the draft works, or bother to need to learn how it works is a stupid statement. Pats fans don't give a fuck about the draft. For them it's just another Saturday in April. Hank probably found out who they drafted in the paper the next day, or via a text he barely paid attention to on the golf course. What real impact does the guy you take at 31 have ? No one is camped out in front of the TV as a Pats fan dying for a franchise changing player, because they had the GOAT at QB.
So I get why Hank is still stuck in his Masshole ways, and hasn't fully adapted to a life of poverty in the NFL like the rest of us. What I will warn him, is that he better catch up real quick because the golden days in Gillete sure seem to be over. Time to change up that attitude and start scouring mock drafts.
