The Bookie Chronicles

Shutterstock Images.

This is an ongoing blog series that features gambling stories from you guys. It's generally about dumb things that should hopefully encourage you to be smarter while also enjoying someone else's futility. A true double whammy. You'd never sink to these levels… 

You can send me your own stories at carl@barstoolsports.com

This week features blatant NCAA violations from a genius coach, a good man with good morals, a hot streak from the recovery room, and a little bit of a pep talk. 

Maybe not the most salacious degeneracy, but we got some good stuff here guys. Let's get into it: 

Baseball Coach. Entrepreneur. Bookie. 

I have been gambling my whole life on horses and sports. 10 years ago I was fortunate enough to start my own business while also being a college baseball coach.

Back in my day, everything was done via phone or in person, so while coaching I began to notice how many of my players were using online gambling platforms and that is when the lightbulb in my head went off.

I did my research on the pay per head sites and decided to open up my own.  

Now at the same time that I was coaching I was also operating the business. So I hired a couple of my players for the summer that I trusted and were good kids that worked hard. It was a perfect feeder system for my business. 

They also seemed to gamble a bit too.  Some of them were getting snubbed by their college book or were unhappy with their arrangement so I told all of them I had a reliable source if they need it. 

* wink wink it was me…shhhhh*  

Sure enough they all switched over.  I gave everyone an account limit just under what I know they earned at the business so I would never have an issue upon collecting.  

Long story short, its been 5 years since I opened up shop and no one knows its me still.

My college team eats like kings on the road bc I give back to them while I violate the NCAA and my business employees work for free! Only 2 weeks in the past 5 years have I actually had to pay the full payroll!

Am I an asshole for taking their wage before it even hits their hands? All I know is that money would wind up in someones else's hands instead, so why not mine!  

This is the small business American dream on steroids. Amateur athletes funneling wages back to the business owner on bad bets is outstanding. Makes me think there should be a pre-tax gambling benefit authorized by congress. Like a Health Savings Account but linked to your online sportsbook. We already do it for commuter benefits and lunches and gym memberships. Go ahead and just give me a 7.5% contribution ceiling. Something sensible. Something fair. 

And while that gets lobbied, this reminds me of a story from college. One of my teammates was very wealthy. Generational kinda stuff with like $60,000 in a checking account. He lived with some of our older degenerate teammates that would go as far as gambling on simulated NHL 09 on PS2. 

Rich Teammates decides to open a book not knowing anything about running a book and they proceed to rob him blind. Literally. They'd submit NBA games that were already in the 2nd half. NHL game totals in the 2nd period. Just obnoxious shit and he accepted every bet and paid every bet out. This went on for a semester where he lost about $15,000 to teammates. 

It reminds me of this coach but the complete opposite where nobody is looking out for anyone. That can happen if your not careful. 

Also, this story is a few years old. I'm interested - are you in jail, coach? Is this still going on? Email me an update Carl@barstoolsports.com

Do The Right Thing

In 2010 I entered the same suicide pool I had entered several years in a row and hadn’t gotten past week 10. It was a $20 buy in for a $135k pot, pretty big pool. I entered 10 times for a $200 investment.

This year was different and I made it all the way through the season and into the playoffs with 15 other people.  About 7 of us decided we wanted to split the pot and walk away with about $8k each.  Of course not at 15 people agreed, so on we went to the next week.  I made a deal with the other 6 people who wanted to split that if any of us won, we would give the others a portion of the winnings.  Wouldn’t you know it, the next week all 6 of them lost and I was the only one left with two other guys.  At that point I wanted to split the pot again ($45k each!) and of course one guy agreed and the other scumbag didn’t.  So we had to play out that week.  

So I made another deal with the one guy who wanted to split.  It was divisional playoffs and we agreed to pick different teams to increase our chances.  When the picks were posted, me and the guy who didn’t want to split took the chargers over the jets and the guy who wanted to split took the jets.  So I was pulling hard for the jets!  So the jets win the game and I end up taking about $67k home.  

Now, I need your and the stoolies opinion.  Should I have given a portion of the winnings to the first 6 people I made the first deal with or not?  Keep in mind, the deal was if one of us WON we would share some of the winnings.  Technically, I didn’t WIN, my pick actually lost but I made a good deal with the guy who won and split the pot with him.

In the end, I ended up giving $5k to each of the other 6 people and walked away with $37k.  Not a bad haul and I could sleep easy at night knowing that no one was coming looking for me.  

The whole time reading this I kept thinking about those 6 people he made the original agreement with. I was waiting for them to come back into play and then right at the last second we get the $5k gift. Not the full $8K but still a huge chunk. 

Personally I think that's a remarkably classy move. You have some issues with a handful for not giving the full load. But they all crapped out the weekend you made the agreement. You're the one that had to navigate the last couple weeks. You're the one trying to find an equitable solution. You're the one grinding. 

That's why I think the split is just so fuckin solid and generous. You probably get away at $4K but bumping it to $5K is really all class. You're a gentleman and a scholar. 

Or is he a sucker? I haven't made it this far in any pool situation to rely on personal experience. Someone coach me up if it's wrong to support such sportsmanship. My brain and gut say he did the right thing. Is that wrong? 

A Family Gathering

So a couple years ago my brother was a sophomore in college. On December 18th-ish, his psycho girlfriend asked for a $250 jacket for Christmas. He has maybe $400 to his name, but wanting to make her happy, he bought it. The next day, she breaks up with him (thank god), two hours before he has to take his last 2 finals of the semester, one of which was in his hardest class. The day after that, he has surgery on the ACL he tore a month prior. All in all it was pretty rough 3-day stretch for him.

Since he had surgery, he couldn’t move from the couch for 2-3 weeks. And since he was able to return the jacket before giving it to his now ex-girlfriend, he had a free $250 to play with. With nothing to do but watch college football and basketball, he put money on every game that was on. He had to make every game as interesting to watch as possible, whether it was the Rose Bowl or Akron vs. Western Michigan. My mom hated the fact that he was betting on these games, especially since she knew how little money he had. So my brother would always say he only put $10 on it, when really it was closer to $50 to start. Not a ton of money, but a lot considering how much he had in bank account.

This kid went on the hottest streak I have ever seen. He went something like 28-4. Literally couldn’t lose. We we’re switching between whatever games were live, streaming other games on our laptops, and freaking out with every close win. My dad started working from our living room because it was absolutely electric. Even my mom hopped on board by the second week, totally ok that he had upped his bets on each game to $30 ($150-$200 really). He made close to $3,000 that break. Then used that original $250 to buy an autographed Magic Johnson jersey. Aced both finals too, and never had to put up with his ex-girlfriend again. Pretty solid winter break.

I'll take the 28-4 with a grain of salt. 22-10 moves the needle just as much but really that's not the point. 

Let's just take a minute to recap the brother's situation. 

Lousy girlfriend. Spending more money than he has. Blown ACL with a December recovery. That's a tall order, and the only saving grace is Bowl Season and a little action. 

Before we even get into what happened, can we just enjoy the presence of sports gambling here. Like that's just an awful, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad situation. And instantly we're all like oh that's not so bad, he can bet every game. Legitimately most of us all agree that's a solid backdrop to recovering from everything. 

One step further, it's nice recovering from a surgery at home with mom and dad. I've had outpatient procedures while living at home under my parents roof and then as an adult on my own. There is no comparison to mom managing the snacks and helping with the painkillers and generally just being there. 

Now what really gets me here is the dad working from home and logging in from the couch with his son. The mom updating lines on the white board in the kitchen. We got parlays and touchdown props and pizza parties for the 7pm's. That's a solid scenario and it's because you got a good family. 

Nothing beats good family although a 5-teamer when you need it comes close. 

Can We Get Mad At This? 

My buddy and I were sitting around watching college football during rivalry week  2 Saturday's ago. Been a pretty even day, some winners, some losers.  Pretty much same shit different week.  So we are looking at the late games slate and see that our online book has ROYALLY fucked up their lines on the Tennessee/Vandy game and has listed Tennessee ML at +1700 and Vandy ML +900.  

Now, we know that the Vandy ML is right where it should be as Tennessee was a 23pt favorite in that game and clearly should have been listed at -1700 and not +1700.  So, we do what any normal degenerate would do and get down on the Tennessee ML +1700 to try and steal a quick score and have the weekend's upcoming bar tabs all but paid for.  

Ended up betting it a couple times so our total investment on Tennessee was $60-70ish to win $1,400-1,500 if Tennessee just wins the game.  We then, go ahead and empty the remaining $30 in the account on Vandy ML +900 to cover our ass, sit back, not have to watch the game at all and then when it's over collect a fucking payday either way.  All is well right?……WRONG. 

We started to wonder how our book was going to handle this fuck up or if they would even notice it and surprise surprise they did notice that they had posted the line wrong.  We then get an email from customer service saying that our bets on Tennessee ML had been voided/canceled/etc… and the money back into our account which is fine (i guess) no harm no foul there.  HOWEVER, those fucks DID NOT void our Vandy ML bets and left us on the hook for the $30 we put in on Vandy which we would clearly go on to lose as Tennessee wound up winning 28-10.  

So if Iget this straight - the book posts a bad line, we take advantage of it, they void the bets that THEY fucked up on but leave us out there with our thumbs up our asses with too much on Vanderbilt football fucking money line, a bet we NEVER make outside of this situation because, again, its Vanderbilt football.  

Is this bullshit? 

No shut the fuck up for a second. 

It's not bullshit. It's not bush league. You didn't get screwed and there's no recourse I can support for you. Truthfully and sincerely, I would argue that you moan out loud often. 

This wasn't in the syllabus!!

I mean what do you expect here? This is the real world buddy. You know Tennessee +1700 isn't real. Everyone knows it's not real. 

And yet you think the Uniform Commercial Code applies? That you have some kind of agreement with your offshore illegal sportsbook that they need to honor posted lines? I got news for you pal. 

Advertisement

Everyone is sticking it to you. The grocery stores and pharmaceutical companies. The banks and energy companies. Your employer and the IRS. Everyone at every level is giving you the business at every opportunity. 

On the bright side, at least customer service gave you a heads up. At least they owned the mistake and made you aware of it. That's called taking institutional responsibility and it basically does not exist in today's world. So maybe take a minute to appreciate their willingness to own the moment. Or next time just assume that bet doesn't count when it clearly doesn't count. Either way, you're in a much better spot than complaining online. I promise.

------

Got a gambling story? Email it to me carl@barstoolsports.com