According to Some Guys, There Are Only Two Types of Women: Those You Would & Those You Wouldn't

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It was years ago, late '80s, when my wife and I were in our late 20s, and before we had kids, that we were having a civilized discussion about the way men treat women. 

I began with, "Women who are desirable are treated much better than those who aren't…" Then I took it a step further, adding that according to most guys I hung out with, there were only two types of women: those you would, and those you wouldn't.

In my moment of unbridled honesty, I might've been a little too loose-lipped and revealed an important part of the Bro Code to my wife. Guys like my friends and me, were more likely to smile and open doors for the woulds than for the would-nots. Despite how chauvinistic and unfair that may seem now, back then, we didn't see a problem with it…

At first, she smiled, like she found my assessment amusing, and we shared a laugh. Then, the conversation turned serious when she asked me, no, demanded to know which of her friends were woulds and which were would nots…

At that point, I realized I may have overstepped, and I should've kept my mouth shut, but when she started reeling off names and asking if, according to me, they were woulds or would-nots, I was all in…

It was kind of a fun little game, and I didn't hold back, giving little thought to potential repercussions. There may have been some alcohol involved…

The funny thing is that there are women who work out, eat healthy, dress nice, get their hair and nails done, and smell great, but they're missing that special something that would make them a would, at least on my list. Then there are women who wear unflattering clothes, have never seen the inside of a gym, their hair's a mess, their nail polish is chipped, and they eat whatever and as much as they want, but they've got that undeniable thing going on, and they're definitely woulds. The would or wouldn't determination isn't a beauty contest, it's way more than that…

I believe two key components in determining which list a woman makes, at least for me, are attitude and body language. As men, we're not looking for Miss Congeniality, we're looking for that spicy chick you know would be a lot of fun between the sheets, if it came to that. Those are the woulds, and if I'm being completely honest, they come in all shapes and sizes…

After we went through my wife's 1980s friends list, she was shocked by some of the women who made my would list and by some of the others I considered would-nots. 

Did I end up in the dog house? Fuck ya! I was actually in the kennel for quite a while, where I learned an important lesson. Never be completely honest with the woman you sleep with, especially your wife. There are certain things you should only discuss with your bros…

 *I've been married to the same woman for 44 years