Knee Jerk Reactions to Christmas Eve: Patriots vs. Broncos

Things to consider while realizing we've already gotten our greatest gift this year:

--I'm going to keep this one reasonably brief. Which are the exact words I've said to myself as I've sat down to write each and every one of these in the 20 or so years that I've been doing them. Only to look at the word count after a write up of some preseason game I did while on vacation at a house on one of the Finger Lakes and find I wasted 1,500 words on some tedious 27-7 clusterfudge (it's Christmas so I'm keeping it PG). But this time I'm sticking to it. Because no time is more precious than the precious hours of Christmas. To be more specific, no time is more precious than MY precious hours of Christmas. I didn't ask the NFL to schedule the Pats for 8:15 on Christmas Eve so I'd have to work. And I'd much rather be nestled all snug in my bed with visions of single malt scotch dancing in my head. But this was the hand fate dealt us, and in the spirit of giving I owe you and my employers this. So I'll be treating this one like the Christmas when Old Balls Claus was up half the night putting Hot Wheels City together, putting every sticker on every gas station, tire store, and traffic light until he was seeing triple. I do and do and do for you kids, and I ask nothing in return.

--First off, let me address the people who think Bill Belichick has to go because the game has passed him by. Like I said after the Kansas City game, that loss provided a lot of ammo for your argument. This win blasted an artillery shell into it. On the road. Undermanned to the point his starting cornerbacks were Myles Bryant and Shaun Wade, the left side of his O-line were Vederian Lowe and James Ferentz, and his gunner on special teams was the one they call Chris Board. Facing a team with playoff aspirations after winning six of their last eight. Listen to this - after Belichick had to burn a timeout because the refs didn't give him time to substitute and he only had 10 men on the field - and tell me this isn't someone fully engaged and obsessed with winning:

--More to the point, Belichick's players are too. Say what you will about them constantly inventing newer and more innovative ways to blow winnable games, they've shown zero willingness to quit, when a lesser team with a less respected head coach would've imploded by now. At the very least, you'd start seeing certain individuals making business decisions (see George Pickens in Pittsburgh). Instead what we're seeing is a team fully engaged despite the fact the season has effectively been over since about Week 6:

--As a matter of fact, these guys are making the opposite of business decisions. No sooner did the game start than that left side of the line collapse (Ferentz caught nothing but air) and force a hideous turnover:

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… than Trent Brown and Antonio Mafi came off the bench and played hurt. On the other side of the ball, Jonathan Jones and Jahalani Tavai gutted it out as well, despite both being listed as questionable. And what we got as a result was the most complete, two-way game of the season, despite them having nothing to play for but Devon Godchaux's aforementioned pride.

--And do not discount how satisfying a win in Denver is. Even in the best of times, that has been a place of high strangeness for the Patriots for as long as anyone has been keeping track. It's our Pottersville. The movie house that should be showing The Bells of St. Mary's is a Dime-a-Dance brothel. Ma Bailey is a miserable, suspicious old bag who doesn't recognize us. Ernie the taxi driver's wife left him and he lives in a shack in Potter's Field. Our Uncle Billy is in a nuthouse. (Actually, that's a pretty good outcome.) Nick the bartender is a successful business owner. (Very good for him, actually.) And for some reason the woman we love needs corrective lenses. (Which are pretty hot on her, tbh.) Anyway, what I'm getting at is that for all the weird occurrences that have happened in that nightmarish setting over the years (missed extra points, Chris Harper muffing a punt that cost a 10-1 team home field in the AFC championship game), Belichick got a win he had no business pulling off. The football equivalent of finding Zuzu's petals in his pocket. Whaddya know about that?!!!

--To the well-meaning people who've been texting and Tweeting me that this was a bad thing because the Pats are now fourth in the draft order instead of second, I get where you're coming from. But that's a sucker's game. The draft is too much of a crapshoot, too unscientific, too random, to worry about it in the here and now. The remainder of this interminable season is about this roster of coaches and players fighting until the end and not getting that mark of shame on them that comes from tanking. Like the descendants of Cain in the Old Testament, that mark gets passed down through the generations. You don't want the 2023 Pats to be cast east of Eden and future generations to pay for their sins. Just ask the Colts. 

--I'll get to the Patriots best player in a moment. After we're done talking about Bailey Zappe. When Bill O'Brien trusted him to take deep and intermediate shots - let him pull out his driver and be long off the tee, so to speak - he delivered. Four completions of over 20 air yards was an impossible dream a month or so ago, but Zappe made it happen. None better than his 41-yarder to Demario Douglas. After lining up, Zappe did the "Kill! Kill!" thing, checking from what I think was a designed run to a play action, seeing a loaded box and recognizing he'd get Douglas one-on-one against Ja'Quan McMillian with the single high safety biting on a deep cross from DeVante Parker:

--Meanwhile Douglas added five catches for 74 yards to his season total. Which not only puts him ahead of Deion Branch for the most ever by a Patriots rookie in the Belichick Epoch, it leads the team. Who had that on their 2023 prop bets? We can add too that he unofficially leads the Pats in the all-important category of Most Hits That You Think Will Knock Him Out of the Lineup for a Month But Don't Make Him Miss a Down:

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As we may or may not be approaching the end of Belichick's reign of harvesting souls in Foxboro, I find myself getting increasingly frustrated by how many receivers come here and simply cannot function in this system (casting side eye in Juju Smith-Schuster's direction). Then you see a guy like Douglas come along and seamlessly fit into it like he was born in it. And I don't think I'm too far out over my skis if I say he's got all the hallmarks of your next Julian Edelman.

--Again, when O'Brien trusted Zappe, he earned it. I mean, remember how many games in a row this team has gone over the last couple of seasons without ever attempting a pass into the end zone? But in the exact kind of red zone 3rd & long where we've seen them time and time again either try to hit say, Kendrick Bourne underneath and hope he'd find his way across the goal line, or simply run a draw and play for the field goal, O'Brien let Zappe get aggressive. He stepped up into the pocket, got a scramble drill going, and threw Gesicki open in a play out of structure. Just like a real NFL offense:

But then after building up a 16-point lead, O'Brien went all conservative on us. Not the good, Ronald Reagan kind. But the bad, Barry Goldwater kind. That next to last possession was the Wikipedia definition of playing not to lose. Checkdowns to Ezekiel Elliot, a scramble, a penalty and a punt, that took nothing off the clock because Denver had all their timeouts. And when they finally decided to give Zappe a chance to win it, he put this dime on Parker's belt buckle to set up the game winner:

--As an aside, I get that Denver was going for a Color Rush tribute to their legendary Orange Crush defense. But what they got was 53 guys dressed like Piper Chapman in Orange is the New Black. Not a good look.

--I said last week the best player on this team now is Christian Barmore. And since he had the best game of his career last night, nothing has dissuaded me from that. He absolutely picked Quinn Meinerz clean like the Bumpus' dogs on Ralphie's mom's Christmas turkey most of the game:

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Then defeated a double team between Meinerz and Lloyd Cushenberry III in which Cushenberry never laid a finger on him to get a strip sack on Russell Wilson:

There is roster turnover coming, to be sure. Lots of turnover. But keeping Barmore and paying that man his money is mission critical. 

--Two weeks in a row now, Marte Mapu has shown the ability to locate the football and put it on missile lock like he did in college:

Keep him away from that post safety role he was ill-suited for earlier this season. Keep him in the box and on special teams. And I promise you he'll have a bright future of making game-changing plays. 

--Granted, squandering a 16-point lead in a matter of minutes in the 4th quarter is less than ideal. But this Patriots defense has had to carry a ridiculous burden this year. Fettered to the worst offense in the league like a corpse they have to lug around:

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Steve Belichick and Jerod Mayo's crew get no grief from me.

--This Week's Applicable Movie Quote (tie):

Frank Cross: "What kind of a rat bastard idiot would schedule a live show on Christmas Eve?"

Camera Man: "Only you, Frank!" - Scrooged

"We're gonna press on! And we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!" - Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation     

--Finally, let's end this on a high note:

--Merry Christmas. Thanks for reading. Bless us, everyone.