We're Getting An Official Tom Brady Roast Care Of The Roast Master Jeffrey Ross, Chris Rock, Bert Kreisher and More
MassLive- Netflix is dishing out a roast for the GOAT.
The streaming platform will have Tom Brady as the subject of “The Greatest Roast of All-Time” — or “GROAT” — on the platform in 2024 as part of “Netflix is a Joke” comedy fest in May.
“Seven-time world champion and modern day legend tackles the biggest challenge of his career. Watch as Tom Brady gets his cleats held to the fire by the Roastmaster General Jeff Ross, alongside famous friends & frenemies in an unforgettable night as they try to take down the GOAT,” Netflix said on its website for the event.
The Brady roast will take place, and be filmed by Netflix on May 5, 2024, at the Kia Forum in Los Angeles.
Brady will join a lineup that also includes comedians Chris Rock, Ali Wong, John Mulaney, Chelsea Handler, Bert Kreisher, Jon Stewart, David Letterman and Tom Segura, to name a few, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
You might be thinking, "how on Earth do you roast Tom Brady?"
That's like roasting Mother Theresa.
Not to mention, it's not exactly like Brady has provided much fodder over the years except for some possible hair plugs, and two crippling Super Bowl losses to a guy who breathes through his mouth. The man's idea of a wild night out is treating himself to some gluten.
Mark Twain famously said, "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. And explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog; you learn a lot in the process, but in the end, you kill it’."
When you think about it, we are all, even the smartest, most graceful, and gifted- walking, talking, mistakes. God's a prankster like that. If you can't laugh at yourself, what are we even doing here anymore?
There's no greater evidence of this than the person who is arguably the largest embodiment of true, greatness, in human form, Tom Brady, opening himself up to be ridiculed and flambeed for all the world to watch.
Count me all the way in for this.
It simply doesn't get any better than Jeffrey Ross standing on stage, eviscerating people to their face while they sit 5 feet away. Well it does but his name was Don Rickles and he sadly passed away in 2017. But Jeffrey Ross is the best currently alive at doing it.
The balls it takes to stand and deliver genuine shots at people the majority of the public thinks walk on water is no easy feat. Tom Brady does actually walk on water so Ross and crew have their work cut out for them.
Speaking of which, Chris Rock will do very well on this roster. He never holds back either. (Unless he's getting emasculated by sexually curious movie stars at awards shows.)
I have no idea who Ali Wong is, no offense, and Chelsea Handler seems like she's on here to check some boxes and keep the females interested if nothing else. But John Mulaney, Bert Kreisher, Jon Stewart, David Letterman and Tom Segura should all flame Brady pretty well and make for some highly entertaining jokes.
I'm guessing we'll get lots of shots at Brady's infamous long hair, and water slide pics.
If Livenation (do they just run the world now?) and Comedy Central know whats good for them, they'll pick up the phone and add Julian Edelman to this roaster list.
Edelman has more dirt, if any actually exists, on Brady than perhaps anybody. And this would be the perfect forum for him to air it out for all to laugh about.
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I also think they need to get Peyton Manning on this dais. As much as you might not want him anywhere near the spotlight when it's on Brady, I think he'd really bring the pain for this and as much as I hate to admit, he's a funny mother fucker. And he has no qualms about giving it to Brady.
And you know what? For the hell of it, lets get BB on that stage as well.
Nobody is going to deliver a better ribbing of TB12 than the only man close to his level. And he's actually sneaky funny when he wants to be too.
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As happy as I am about this news that this is happening, I'm kind of worried for Brady. I don't think he really knows what he signed up for. He's been so used to everybody in the world washing his balls, worshipping the ground he walks on, and being revered that this is going to be like shock therapy for the guy.
Nonetheless I can't wait for this. Looks like I'm heading to LA in May to catch it in person because I won't be able to wait for it to air on tv months later. And ticket prices actually aren't that bad.
p.s. - I said this in a blog around the time of the Barstool Awards where Nate gave one of the best roasts of all time to the surprise of everybody in attendance. But we desperately, desperately need a Dave Portnoy Roast for his 50 birthday next year. Bring out everybody for it. There would be no shortage of people looking to jump in, and attend. We're in the live events business once again now that he owns the company. He's always boasted that he could sell out The Garden in Boston. This is how we do it. I know you degenerates wouldn't pay $10 to live stream it but tell me you wouldn't pay $9. You can't. You know you would. It would make bank, and make for some comedy gold. I'm really looking forward to this idea being hijacked from me and happening.
p.p.s. - two of Don Rickles' greatest roasts
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p.p.s. - more gold from Jeffrey Ross
p.p.p.s. - some of my favorite roasts I've ever seen