Cam Newton Dressed in a Halloween Costume is About to Take the Internet by Storm With His Takes
I'm all about Cam Newton becoming a guy who pops up on my Twitter feed once a week with a scorching hot football take. Every few days or so, amongst the videos of people in foreign countries getting their arms ripped off by tigers, and adorable puppies, you get Cam Newton dressed as a combination of Cruella de Vil and Yosemite Sam looking you dead in the eyes and telling you that the NFL should change the shape of the football to a cube. Give me all of that. Every time you see Cam pop up in 55-gallon hat, you know you're about have your face melted off by a take.
I love the idea of dressing for your takes. The way it is now, when you see a freshly shaved analyst in a nice suit, you have no idea what's about to hit you. He might give you some thoughtful analysis on how Tua Tagovailoa performs against zone defense, or he might start comparing running backs to serial killers. I think if you want to dress nice and wear a suit, you should have to earn it with sensible, well-articulated takes. Or conversely, if you want to wear a pair of pants as a shirt, then tell me Patrick Mahomes is actually a hologram.
I have a feeling Cam Newton is here to stay. His game manager QB take is just the tip of the iceberg. Honestly, that's not even THAT crazy of a take. He just drastically moved the goal posts on what we typically consider game managers. But Cam is just getting warmed up. He's the perfect amount of crazy for this job. He has enough football knowledge to talk ball with anybody. He's played enough football to think that he's always right. But is also insane enough to do things like text exclusively in hieroglyphics.
That's the perfect witches brew for the next great hot take artist. Give it a couple years, once Skip Bayless gets a little more senile, and his current group of punching bags is fed up with his shit, Cam Newton is going to get the call-up. An early onset dementia Skip Bayless going toe to toe with Cam Newton in a Chewbacca mask is going to be appointment television in the year 2026.