Advanced Analytics Say That Tommy DeVito Is Playing At An MVP Level And Is The 2nd Best Rookie Quarterback In This Season's Class
Look at the NFL On CBS Stat Boy fluffing up Tommy DeVito like some fresh bread on Arthur Ave. But I'm fine with it because every talking head on TV tells me how hard it is to win a game in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE (I don't know why they still say the whole league name like that) and a former rapping coworker once infamously said that no matter what, numbers never lie.
Those numbers say Tommy DeVito is in the same company as three MVP candidates and one surefire Rookie of the Year that all play the most important position in sports. You can also say the entertainment factor DeVito brings trumps all of those players by roughly a millionfold based on how he has taken over every form of media in the country.
You can cry about the sample size, how those three games were against teams that are all currently under .500, or that averaging less than 200 yards during that stretch in today's NFL is almost more impressive than any of the other stats.
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However if you do that, I have no choice but to retort with this in the year 2023, which could get your ass cancelled in this crazy world we live in.
Just kidding. Us Italians can have fun with some jokes about the culture, especially if Tommy, his family, and his agent are all leaning directly into everything (while also locking up a few boxes of ziti on the side by striking while the iron is as hot as Tommy's right arm).
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Even noted Italian, lover of Italian food, and lover of making love in Italian restaurants Slick Rick Pitino is paying his respects to Tommy like the Boss he is.
Just another day in this absolutely ridiculous Linsanity remix taking place in the Meadowlands as actual real life stats like this continue to pump out of supercomputers built to show how great Tommy DeVito is in exchange for likes, reposts, and internet clout in general (thanks for the click by the way!).
Now the Giants just need to beat the Saints, the Rams, and figure out a way to split with the Eagles in order to go from In The Hunt to In The Playoffs. I know it sounds crazy, but nothing about the Tommy DeVito Experience has not been crazy. Now it's time for our Italian Hero to go from fun story to legend.