There Was An ABSURD Kerfuffle At A McDonald's That Involved A Bills Fan, An Angry Canadian, Flying Chairs, Happy Meals, And Pokemon Cards. Yes, This Is A Real Headline

Clem12/08/2023 9:30 PM

I know posting a 6 minute video on Barstool is a preposterous thing to do, on a Friday no less! But that clip had all the content infinity stones that turned Barstool into a half a billion dollar company. Football fans, weapons, fast food, a fight (or in this case a kerfuffle), and random pop culture nostalgia.

Oh yeah, I did forget one and perhaps the biggest infinity stone: Smut. I'll get to that at the bottom of the blog. Thanks Steven!

Now I can't hate on this fella for wanting a Happy Meal because getting one was basically the peak of our lives as kids on days that weren't Christmas or our birthday. As someone that has loaded his kids with Happy Meals to shut them up countless times, I don't think anyone will stop you from buying a Happy Meal just because you are old because plenty of parents go to Mickey D's without their kids. For those wanting adult toys, McDonald's created Adult Happy Meals last year and are bringing them back with the McNugget Buddies next week.

However, I do imagine if you are a full grown man demanding Pokemon cards, you may get told to politely take a long walk off a short pier since grown up collectors have ruined trading cards for normal human beings. Because if a Canadian McDonald's doesn't give you something, nobody will because the golden arches and our neighbors to the North specialize in hospitality.

The fact of the matter is the Pokemon hunter in this video acted like a crumb bum, which led to him not getting what he wanted. Don't get me wrong, I respect the fuck out of his hustle to catch'em all. Calling yourself a wise man, getting upset for someone calling you a liar on the Lord's Day, and asking for your donation back are all Tier 1 power moves in any circumstance. But this bad mamma jamma pulled off all three without blinking all while shaking off the camerawoman saying he was worse behaved than her disabled kids, which is a downright WILD thing to say in its own right, while her camera work was downright offensive. That McDonald's employee somehow held strong and was able to shake him off, which should lead to him going from mopping the floors to doing the fries.

Now let's get to the other star in this video. If someone wearing a Bills jersey says they are your worse nightmare, I would've thought they are speaking in nothing but whole truths. I always think of Canadians as such wholesomely good people, but they are also hockey fans that love a good brouhaha and you knew this guy would be the case when he said he said he was "like a cornered dog buddy" after getting the size of his ankles called out.

But this poor bastard dropped the most disappointing performance in Bills history since 13 Seconds vs. the Chiefs (sorrey Bills fans) as this wise non-lying donation ~~Indian~~ Native American giver whooped Josh Allen's ass worse than the Bengals did in last year's playoffs all while his hero Pikachu cheered him on.

That Bills fan walked into the fight like a Mewtwo and walked out of it like a Jigglypuff by only unlocking the clutching and grabbing part of his hockey fighting Canadian instincts. He had a chance to redeem himself by unleashing chaos with a chair, which is closely related to the weapon of choice for #BillsMafia, the table. But this mamaluke instead harmlessly threw the chair before getting told off by this old, bearded, extremely upset Ash Ketchum. Absolutely embarrassing stuff for Bills fans around the world and the kind of omen that has me thinking about betting the Chiefs -1 on Sunday no matter how much I liked Buffalo going into the weekend.

Oh yeah and here's the smut I promised, which I imagine is where 90% of the horn dogs that clicked this blog scrolled to the moment I said it was at the bottom.

Giphy Images.

Bet you didn't think you'd get a gif of Thanos showing his O Face after acquiring the smut infinity stone. But that's why you guys keep clicking and I will forever appreciate it. This wasn't a Click Burglar production, but it just feels not to end the blog with that strapping young man considering the context.

So I will leave you with a link to actual fights that should be much more entertaining than the one above then be on my way.

Have a great weekend everybody! Click Burglar Clem…OUT!!!