Am I The Asshole For Supporting My Newly Divorced Friend (At An Orgy) Instead Of My Girlfriend?

I started this as kind of a shot-in-the-dark attempt to branch out, do something besides rehashing news stories, and lighten things up a little bit last week.

Little did I know what a fucking gold mine this forum is. Not just for content but for self esteem boosts. 

Holy shit man, if you’re feeling down about yourself, having a rough stretch, or feel disappointed in yourself for whatever reason you can think of, scroll through this forum for a little while and you’ll quickly change perspectives.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen, or know, there were this many self-unaware people in this world. It’s astonishing. 

Take this weeks example.

AITA for supporting my (30M) divorced friend (30M) instead of vacationing with my gf (30F)?

My friend Jack just finalized his divorce, but he has a new gf and is still friend with his ex wife.

Nevertheless, he is going through a tough time.

I support him, meet with him, call with him. His new gf is more "open" and convinced him to try to go to a sex positive party. He was too shy to go alone and he asked if I wanted to come. l asked my gf of 3 months Alice (we were friends before), stating clearly I'm there to only support Jack and would never do anything, and she said no, and this lead to a big argument because I used to be in open relationships in the past as well (but I'm monogamous with her). I obviously didn't go to the party.

Jack invited me to his housewarming party a month and a half ago and I said yes and confirmed the invite in my calendar. The party is next Saturday. He also invited Alice a couple of weeks ago and she thanked him but we never discussed it. We somehow forgot about it probably, because I proposed going on a trip with Alice on that Saturday and she was very excited, especially because she's going to her homecountry until NYE.

She searched for destinations and we kept talking about it, until I realized yesterday that Jack's housewarming party is on that day. I apologized for disappointing Alice and suggested we should go on a day trip on Sunday instead. I explained to her that I need to be there for Jack. I told her I would prefer going on a weekend trip with her, but I need to be there for him.

She told me that I should do whatever I want, but she was clearly disappointed and sad, so we talked.

She said she didn't even know I confirmed going to that party, let alone that much in advance, and that it's true she forgot about it, but since I was the one to propose the weekend trip, she didn't even think I had anything else planned. She brought up the sex party incident and how me being there for Jack is weird, because I should be there for someone by calling and meeting up with him, which I already am, but not by going to orgies and attending his party where many people are going to come anyway. She understands it's rude to cancel on him because I had already confirmed, but not because "he is so sad and in need for me".

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AITA?

Dear redditor- 

First off, you and your buddy Jack are definitely fucking correct? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. At all. But we’re all thinking it. So I guarantee you your girlfriend is thinking it too. 

I’ve heard some funny shit in my days but hearing somebody try to describe an orgy as a “sex positive party” is a good one. I think I speak for all of us men when I say I’m genuinely surprised that one didn’t work. 

Secondly, yes. Yes you are the asshole. 

What the fuck are you doing dragging this girl along for if she wants to be in a monogamous relationship but you’re trying to go to orgies?

I’ll cut to the chase here, I think you gotta figure out what it is that tickles your pickle if you catch my drift. 

You clearly aren’t into monogamous relationships if you were in open ones in the past and are still trying to go to fuck-fests while dating this new chick. That’s not fair to her. Either get her on board with swinging with you and Jack and his new girl, or let her find a guy who’s not gonna want to get off watching his totally straight buddy fuck other people. 

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Then you can go watch all the strangers fuck strangers you want and fuck your brains out too while you’re at it.

I have this friend who’s a pretty decent looking dude. He does steroids so he’s fucking ripped and has really good hair. Married chicks throw themselves at him. Have forever. It’s fucked up. 

This one chick used to be married to this crazy rich guy we know in Chicago and they were into some really fucking bizarre stuff. 

After propositioning my friend like 100 times he finally caved in and let them pay him like $10,000 to fuck the wife while the husband sat in the corner and watched. 

He didn’t tell us about it until months after when he was hammered but all I could think about (and ask about) was how he even focused or was able to without the thought of the husband jamming a knife into his back, or jamming something else into something else, while he was railing his missus. 

He didn’t have an answer, just said they were both extremely satisfied with his work and “wanted to put him on retainer.”

He swears it’s never happened again but we all think he’s full of shit and just won’t ever tell us anything anymore.

I mentioned this story for a few reasons-

1- rich people are beyond fucked in the head. I think once you achieve that level of success/wealth and can get anything you want you stop getting turned on to normal shit and start becoming a weirdo. 

2- trust no one 

3- I don’t know whether to be impressed or weirded out by dudes who can “perform” in front of other dudes. Like pornstars and the kind of people Glenny Balls rolls with now.

4- I think there’s more people like this couple and these people mentioned in this Reddit thread out there than we think. Which is crazy to me but at the same time makes me wonder why I’m surprised?