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Everyone Just Needs To Sit Back And Let The Toronto Maple Leafs Become America's Team By Signing Patrick Kane

Mark Blinch. Getty Images.

Listen…do the Toronto Maple Leafs need Patrick Kane? No. Of course not. They already have Mitch Marner and William Nylander at RW. And if there's one thing the Toronto Maple Leafs have more than any other team in the league, it's top end offensive talent with little to zero defensive abilities. That's basically the entire Leafs lineup right now. So the Toronto Maple Leafs needing Patrick Kane is like you needing that last beer your order before you close out your tab. Everyone knows you don't need it, everyone knows it's probably a bad idea, but you desperately want it because you know it'll be fun while it lasts. 

And that's exactly why everyone just needs to shut up and let the Leafs get nuts by signing Patrick Kane. It's not a great idea by any stretch, but it's a completely blackout drunk fun kind of idea. And those are always the best ideas. 

Just imagine getting a chance to watch Auston Matthews and Patrick Kane in the same lineup. That's what the NHL stole from us when they didn't let their players participate in the past two Olympics. That's the Team USA powerplay we've been dreaming about ever since our hearts got ripped out of our chest in 2010. We could have had it in 2022, but a goddamn global pandemic got in the way. Seems oddly convenient for Hockey Canada that they didn't have to deal with having those two spank their asses all over Beijing. 

These two were meant to play together. And this is probably the only chance we'll get for it to happen. How it'll work with the fact that Toronto literally has $0 in cap space is beyond me. But that's a puzzle for Brad Treliving to figure out. 

The Leafs can roll out a top line of Matthew Knies - Auston Matthews - Patrick Kane. Goaltending would still be an issue. Defense would still be non-existent. But having the biggest team in Canada rely so heavily on American talent to try to win the Cup would be incredible entertainment for the rest of the season. 

Would have to figure out what to do with #88 though. That's the only hangup I really see on this deal. 

@JordieBarstool