STD's Are Running Rampant Across The SEC

NY Post - The US is in the midst of an “out of control” STD epidemic, with cases of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia on the rise nationwide.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says gonorrhea cases spiked by 28% across the country in 2021, while total syphilis cases soared by a staggering 74%.

However, not all American areas are experiencing the same rates of infection, with a new data breakdown by US News & World Report revealing the 10 states with the highest sexually transmitted disease rates.

The publication compiled the list after looking at cumulative cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis per 100,000 residents — and it’s not good news for those living in the South.

To be honest I feel like this has been a standing story for as long as I can remember. I'm pretty sure the United States has been in the midst of an STD epidemic for the past 2 decades. I've always been sensitive to the subject of STD's. I'm sure 99% aren't aware of this, but I went to Bowling Green State University, and the around the MAC people refer to Bowling Green State University (BGSU) as BGSTD. At some point in history, Bowling Green State University was ranked #1 on some sort of "school with the most STD's" list. I don't even know if that's real, but that was the rumor going around. To be honest, I always thought it was kinda cool, because that meant my school fucked raw. But still.. you don't necessarily want to have that reputation. 

Personally, I can say that I NEVER contracted an STD in my 5.5 years at Bowling Green. Only 1 time did I go to the clinic because something weird was coming out of my dick (it was white puss). But they ran the tests and told me I was clean. I was at a party when the they called me with my negative results. I announced to the party that I didn't have the clap and everyone cheered. To this day I have no clue what it was. I remember telling someone a few days later about the whole situation and he said, "That happened to me once, I'm sure you just had dirt dick." I didn't know what that meant, but I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, it's just a classic case dirt dick" and I moved on with my life.

Anyways, to everyone who wants to put the BGSTD stigma on my alma mater, I would like to issue you a hearty "go fuck yourself". Because a new STD list just dropped. It ranked the 10 most STD riddled states in America, and Ohio is nowhere to be found.

NY Post - 10 states with the highest STD rates

1. Mississippi
2. Louisiana
3. Alaska
4. South Carolina
5. South Dakota
6. Alabama
7. Georgia
8. Arkansas
9. New Mexico
10. North Carolina

I think Ben Mintz is technically from Mississippi, but he claims Louisiana. So between both of his "home states" I can only assume that Mintzy is riddled with sex disease. Just look at him. You think that guy is wrappin' up his hog? Not a chance brother. 

Upon reviewing the list, it's apparent that the SEC is the problem. 5 of the top 10 states are in SEC country. Aside from North Carolina (which is just a slightly more literate SEC state) the non-SEC states on the list are barely states at all. Alaska? North Dakota? New Mexico? Those places aren't real. There's probably 5 electoral votes between the three of them. It's the heathens in the SEC who are responsible for spreading genital COVID across America. Good football and unsafe sex go together like biscuits and gravy. You try keeping your dick in your pants after watching Nick Saban coach 4 quarters of conservative football. 

I'm sorry but if the SEC can't control themselves, we're going to need to get Dr. Fauci involved. I don't want it to come to that, but I can think of no other option. Dr. Fauci will have to cook up a brand new sex vaccine. I don't want it to come to that, but if people like Ben Mintz can't stop spreading their seed across the American Southeast, we'll have no other option.