A Big Week for Patriots Paranoia Continues as Now the Cowboys are Worried About Their Signs Getting Stolen

Matthew Lynch. Shutterstock Images.

It's funny how this was supposed to be the year when nobody feared the Patriots. The continuation of the death spiral that started a few years ago in which they were going to - at long last - Just Another Team that you didn't have to take seriously, much less worry about. Further evidence that Bill Belichick was always Just Another Coach, being exposed now that he's got Just Another Roster with Just Another Average Level of Talent, not really worth your time to effort in order to defeat him. And their 0-2 start merely confirmed it.

Funny because I've already posted twice today about the broad topic of how everyone seems to be treating this like Not Just Another Team. One that causes you Not Just Another Team Levels of Concern. First, there's the fact that the rest of the league is deeply worried about the vicious play of that savage Viking Berserker, the one they call Mac Jones. Next there was two of the best Steelers of all time who won't stop believing they were victims of cheating 19 years ago. Well now it's officially a theme day on the blog as we've got our third post on the broad topic of Patriots Paranoia. 

It's Cowboys week. And after signing Ezekiel Elliot late in the offseason, GM Bill Belichick has added Will Grier to his practice squad after he was just released in Dallas. Now, under a lot of circumstances, you might consider the timing and assume Grier has been brought in to provide some intel. Personally, that never occurred to me just because this signing has been one of about two dozen roster moves at the bottom of the quarterback depth chart since Cut Down Day around the league. Matt Corral alone was the subject of more transactions than your whole Fantasy league has made so far. And the last anyone checked, was no longer on the 53. So Grier just struck me as a viable veteran option at the emergency third QB spot that we all want to need about a much as our smoke detectors.

But the Cowboys don't see it like that:

Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Get a load of the choice of words. "Interrogated!" No wonder Bill O'Brien laughed when he was asked about it:

Right, Schotty.  They've got Grier cuffed to the table in the back room. Right now he's getting Jerod Mayo and Steve Belichick playing Good Cop/Bad Cop. Mayo's saying, "We've got your old teammate Zeke in the next room, and he's about to tell us everything he knows. If you want to cut a deal with us, you'd better start talking." While Steve's doing the "Forget it! It's too late! Throw him back into general population and let the rest of the practice squadders do whatever they want with him!" And presumably Bill is waiting for his turn to play the Vic Mackey "I'm a different kind of cop" part. Where he comes in, locks the door, and starts swinging a phone book. 

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As if it weren't hilarious enough that Dallas' coaches are giving this a moment's thought, Grier has only been in two regular season games in his career, and those were with Carolina back in 2019. And even though he probably does know their system, they thought so little of him they released him after one season. But somehow they're using some of their limited week of preparation worried about how his intimate knowledge of their intricate scheme could be the difference maker Sunday. 

Hysterical. In both senses of the word. 

And try for a second to imagine Belichick's staff thinking like this. A Barstool reader sent me this old gem I'd forgotten all about, after losing 21-0 to the Dolphins in 2006:

Pats Pulpit - The NFL said the Miami Dolphins violated no rules when they allegedly obtained video tapes of the New England Patriots offense and tried to decipher quarterback Tom Brady's signals, according to ESPN's John Clayton.

Several Dolphins players bragged to the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post that they bought tapes to study Brady's verbal direction at the line of scrimmage. "Coaches tapes" provided to every team by the league contain no audio.

Despite the claims and Sunday's result, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick doubts Miami gained any real edge.

"I stand out on that field every day, as do our defensive players -- who are pretty smart players -- and I don't see it," Belichick said in Wednesday's press conference, as reported by Clayton. "If I can't pick it up and our players can't pick it up, with what we know and the opportunity to see and work against each other, I have a hard time thinking somebody else [could]." …

According to Clayton, "Reaction around the league office was, 'That's football,'" AFC spokesman Steve Alic said.

"That's football." Exactly. Because the Pats were the victims, not the perpetrators. But the very idea that they have Will Grier with his 63 career dropbacks and zero touchdown passes in the building is enough to cause concern in the Cowboys coaching room. All of which demonstrates that the days of the other 31 teams not worrying about facing New England has yet to arrive. And probably never will as long as the coaching GOAT is still in charge.