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NSFW Uncensored, Full Frontal Naked Dating Show Is Streaming On Max, How Dating Should Be Done

A fantastic idea. People say you can't judge a book by it's cover, or a man by his penis, or a woman by her cans. But that's not necessarily true. Netflix has a show called 'Love Is Blind', where contestants get to know each other behind a wall. The contestants learn everything little thing about each other, except for that they look like. And it doesn't work. Some of the worst couples I've ever seen come from that show. Their relationships almost never work out. 

Everything about Love is Blind is bullshit. Every contestant they choose falls somewhere in the 7-8 range on the hotness scale. No one person is ever THAT far out of the other's league. That's how you know the show's theory is bullshit. If they really wanted to prove that "love is blind" then throw in some 2's and 3's. Give us a balding man with a cleft lip, eye patch, and an 11 out of 10 personality. Let him get to know a couple scorching hot, shallow as hell Instagram models. See if love is blind then. Imagine how exciting that reveal would be? A+ television right there. They should let me produce that show. Fuck seeing if love is blind, let's crush some souls. But they're too cowardly to do that.

Naked Attraction is a much better concept. This is a concept that might work. Honestly, it's how dating should be done. Cut right to the chase. Before you even bother speaking to a potential partner, give them a full eye fucking from top to bottom. Really examine the ins and outs of the penis. How does it look soft? How does it look hard? Is it bigger than a bread box? Pubes? First establish that all the person's physical features are up to your vain standards, then you can decide if it's worth telling them about how you didn't live up to your own fathers standards on the baseball field when you were 9-years old and your relationship has never recovered. 

BONUS: Enjoy this video of some woman on The View doing an impression of a penis while they discuss Max's newest hit show