The Colts Are Going To Suck Ass, But Anthony Richardson Will Win Rookie Of The Year

Scott Serio. Shutterstock Images.

The off-season for the Indianapolis Colts has been nothing short of unpredictable. Jonathan Taylor went from beloved bright spot of the franchise to full blown diva, Jim Irsay finally got around to watching Blackfish and decided to try and save the whales, and now the face of the franchise, Anthony Richardson, is going full MIIIIIIIND FREEEEEAK by helping Criss Angel escape from a straight jacket while suspended above Lucas Oil. 

Fortunately, the regular season shouldn't take a rocket scientist to predict the outcome -the Colts are going to be big time ASS. After the Colts spineless, gutless, cowardly loss in the win and in the playoffs game vs. the 3-14 Jaguars two seasons ago, I have been the biggest colts pessimist. This franchise is a bunch of losers that have no idea what it takes to win. 

4th Down and the length of my dick and the "15 million dollar man" can't run the ball into the end zone? GARBAGE. BUT, that was with Carson Wentz leading the team. This is a new era. We no longer have to think about those days. Those days can't hurt us anymore. Anthony Richardson is the future. Colts have less weapons and talent than they did that season, but all that matters is the progression of AR-5. You bet your ass I'll be putting on my scouting hat on every game, and telling myself I'm seeing improvement in Richardson. With no Super Bowl hopes, AR getting better, but the team sucking enough for a high draft pick is what this season is about. Sucking enough to get Marvin Harrison Jr. I thought I would be harder on this team when it came to wins, Vegas has their over/under at 6.5 wins (before Taylor went AWAL.) I think the Colts will play everyone hard (don't tell that fake hardo douchebag Robert Saleh) , but my prediction of 5-12 seems to be extremely lenient. 

Colts Season 5-12

Jacksonville: L

@ Houston: L

@ Baltimore: L

LA Rams: L

Tennessee: L

@ Jacksonville: L

Cleveland: L

New Orleans: W

@ Carolina: W

@ New England: L

Tampa Bay: W

@ Tennessee: L

@Cincinatti: L 

Pittsburgh: L 

@Atlanta: W

Las Vegas: L

Houston: W

The experts in Vegas seem to think Anthony Richardson isn't too crazy of a pick for ROTY, so maybe I'm not a crazy person. His situation isn't much different than CJ Stroud or Bryce Young, if anything he's in a better spot. Sprinkling a little money on AR and ignoring the Colts record seems to be the only way to enjoy this Colt's football season. 

While doom scrolling through twitter, I found data on 21 year old quarterbacks sucking ass their first season and then panning out overtime. Some of them. I'll look at the chart one day and think Richardson will be the next Bledsoe, Lamar, Stafford or Vick, and then the next day get depressed thinking the Colts wasted the #4 on the next Josh Rosen. (There are more names if you click on the chart) 

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Right or wrong, at the end of the day, all that matters is football is officially back.