On Behalf Of The Disney Boys: The Fatso Dragon Pizza Owner Is DISAVOWED

Just had to hop on the blog real quick to DISAVOW this scumbag Dragon Pizza owner as a Star Wars fan on behalf of the Disney Boys.

Like many of you, I got sent a link to this review late last night by a few friends telling me I HAD to watch it, and after hearing some rumblings, I knew it had gotten hostile between Dave and the owner quick - so I was stoked. When Jon Bon Hoagie stepped out of this joint in a Star Wars shirt, though, my heart dropped. 

Of all the shirts on the pop culture rack in the kids section of Target, why did he have to grab a Star Wars one? 

Not only does this nerf herder not represent us nerds, but the ignorance he spouts is very Empire-like, and the absolutes he speaks in are straight outta the Sith repertoire. 

He'd probably tell Han Solo he didn't appreciate what he stood for just because he shot Greedo first - despite Han being the only reason the Rebellion wasn't blown to smithereens by the Death Star in the Battle of Yavin. He probably cheered when Anakin made his way into the Jedi Academy's day care center on the night of Order 66. I bet he fell asleep before Darth Vader's hallway scene in Rogue One too, and prefers the special editions to the theatrical releases. Rose Tico and Jar Jar Binks are the most brilliantly written characters in the saga to him, but he probably couldn't even tell you the first thing about the Kaminoan cloning process. 

This guy is Jabba level gross and Bib Fortuna level delusional, and he just made the biggest mistake since not planning out the sequel trilogy by picking a fight with Dave. That's a war that could last longer than the Galactic Civil War and the Clone Wars put together.

Relive the #DisneyBoys magic here:

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….and check out the latest episode of My Mom's Basement below! Dave is coming on the show next week to discuss Ahsoka!