'One Night is Really Not Enough': Belichick Confirms Tom Brady's Return to Foxboro Will Have Him in a Glass Case of Emotion

JEFF HAYNES. Getty Images.

With so much going on right now, so much actual business that needs to be attended to, it's easy to get lost in the details and forget about the big picture. We're all so focused on dealing with the wolves that are closest to the wagon right now - such as how the Patriots personnel looks, how the rookies are progressing, how coaches are incorporating their schemes, getting injured players back on the field, how the final roster will be structured and so on - I think for the most part it's taken our attention off the fact that we find ourselves in the path of a storm. As we speak, we are in the crosshairs of a Category 5 Emotional Hurricane. 

Tropical Storm Brady is barreling up the coast, scheduled to make landfall at Gillette on Sunday, September 10th. And we can expect massive flooding due to the heavy downpours of happy tears, adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, and spillage from all the tribute toasts to the greatest there ever was in this game. And I for one plan to float on those sacred waters. It's exactly the catharsis I've needed since that dark St. Patrick's morning when the GOAT announced he was leaving. 

But I'm just an open and proud Bradysexual. One among millions. My emotional state three Sundays from now won't matter. Next to Brady himself, no one's will matter as much as Bill Belichick's, who discussed it today on his weekly radio hit:

All of New England right now:

Give me a minute to compose myself because I can barely type from the priapic glee with which I hear him speak these words. 

I don't know which is the bigger lie: That Belichick is a cold, heartless, uncaring automaton straight out Disney's Hall of Coaches, or that he and Tom Brady couldn't stand being together and their relationship bred nothing but resentment to go along with all those Lombardi. But both are ridiculous. Based on nothing but pure conjecture from the Boston media that hated Belichick from the day he scribbled "I resign as HC of NYJs" on a cocktail napkin. Both are total fictions. And if nothing else, this Brady tribute coming up in Week 1 will hopefully bury them once and for all in a deep grave they can never crawl out of. 

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I mean, listen to the voice of this old softie. This sentimental fool. This proud papa feeling the absolute joy that can only come from seeing one of your own go out into the world and conquer it. To use all the lessons you taught him and the inspiration you instilled in him to reach new heights of greatness. Belichick birthed Brady, cared for him, raised him, and watched him achieve things no one else ever dared dream possible. And the very thought of seeing prodigal son coming home has him ready to slaughter the fatted calf in his honor. And he's not ashamed to bare his soul to us all and let everybody know his heart is chocolate covered with a chewy caramel and fluffy nougat center. 

As the date approaches, I'll have more to say about the tributes that the Kraft family has planned and what I'd like to see them do. But for now let's just say the coach is 100% right about the statue. But then again, that's not enough. Plenty of guys get statues now. Hell, Craig Biggio has a statue. The only way we can do one for Brady is a Colossus of Rhodes-style one:

Bettmann. Getty Images.

Maybe across Boston Harbor. Or from the tip of the Cape to the South Shore. One that can be seen from space. Something worthy of the man and all he did to usher in the 2000s, The Century of the Masshole. But that's a conversation for a later time. For now, let us just bask in the warm, loving glow of the incredible bromance between these two GOATs. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back and listen to him say these words about a thousand more times.