Corporate Kelly Keegs (A Nasty Woman Who Hates Jail) Will Ruin Barstool If Elected NY President

The Barstool New York presidential election has been going on all week. The field started with many but is now down to just two. On one hand there is me, Tommy "The Winner" Smokes. And on the other hand, there is Corporate Kelly Keegs. The HR loving, content hating, Anthony Fauci worshipping, mask wearing WOMAN. She has vowed to gut the budget for Barstool content so we can hire more HR people and give raises to the sales floor. Here is a look at her agenda. 

Wow. Getting rid of all prison systems seems a bit much to me. But that's Corporate Kelly Keegs for you! Meanwhile, here is my agenda. 

A lot of fair and reasonable measures with some fun games and activities for all! Seems like a great dictator leader to me. If the agendas aren't enough for you though, why don't we take a look at some of the different endorsements and bombshell news stories that have come out of this week. 

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And that about sums it up. We're about to read the votes now. The debate, results, and more will be shown on tomorrow's Stool Scenes. A lot of people are asking me if I will accept the elections results no matter what. As of now, I cannot make that promise. The media has been very unfair to me throughout this whole process so I'm sure they will stop at nothing to rig it and keep me out power!

PS: I see why Trump keeps running for President. This is so much fun. I may stay like this forever.