Dave Portnoy Officially Endorses Me For Barstool President***

*he retracted it quickly

You can tell he wanted to endorse me though. He did say the words "I endorse you." Corporate Kelly Keegs wants to abolish jail. She says no more content employees, only HR. Kumbaya if she's in charge. I mean look at her campaign platform. Sounds like it was written by a Bud Light marketing exec. 

Now you may be thinking, "Tommy you sound sexist towards women." Not true at all. I'm not anti-women. I AM PRO-MAN. I will ban the Barbie movie from ever playing in this office or being talked about. We only watch Goodwill Hunting and G.I. Joe. And for anyone thinking I'm sexist, just look at my VP pick. 

(Buy the shirt at the Barstool store for 20% off)

Unfortunately, the lamestream media is already trying to bring me down with their rigged polling numbers, so I have joined Truth Social. 

We will be having our town hall debate tomorrow and the results will be revealed on Friday's Stool Scenes. I hope I have your support. I'm making it okay to be a man again. 

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At least Comrade Kelly picked up her first endorsement though