Today In $audi $port$: A Journalist Was Seen Casually Gifting A Rolex To Soccer Star Fabinho After A Match

Welp, I guess it's time to acknowledge that if the Saudis want to buy up every league in our country, we are pretty much powerless to it. I can understand a rich country looking to sportwash all the grime off its dirty dick by paying soccer players a kabillion dollars to play over there since futbol is the biggest sport on the planet. I also completely understand creating LIV and engaging in a hostile takeover of the PGA since golf has blown into another stratosphere in popularity to the point the Fore Play boys went from being called boondogglers to moneymaking monsters that has even Sweet Trent not being able to leave his house without a bunch of bras being thrown at his face despite his horrendous taste in fast food.

But once sports journalists are giving out Rolexes to soccer players like they are Halloween candy, we have to acknowledge we are fucked. It's not even like this soccer player getting a free Rolex is Messi or Ronaldo or any of the legends even my dumb American ass knows about (I only put star in the headline to grab your eye and get your click, which obviously worked). I'm sure he's good enough to be getting that Saudi bag. But if Messi actually went over there, this journo probably would have given him keys to a 20 bedroom mansion and/or a private jet.

You know what sports writers do here in the States? They go on Twitter rampages complaining whenever the press box runs out of free Diet Cokes or the soft serve ice cream machine breaks down like a bunch of Poors. They sure as shit aren't giving out Rolexes to the players they cover. I'm personally a Brick Watch Man and find Rolex to be a brand that is past its time, which I say as both a company guy and someone that enjoys a good pun. But the point still stands.