Pack Your Bags Fellas, We're Going Monster Hunting! The Loch Ness Centre Is Looking For Volunteers To Help Find The Loch Ness Monster

NBC Chicago - The Loch Ness Centre in Scotland is calling for “budding monster hunters” and volunteers to join in what it dubs the largest search for the Loch Ness Monster since the 1970s.

The visitor attraction said this week that modern technology such as drones that produces thermal images of the lake will “search the waters in a way that has never been done before.”

The new surface water search for the fabled “Nessie,” planned for the weekend of Aug. 26 and 27, is billed as the largest of its kind since the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau studied the loch for signs of the mythical beast in 1972.

The Loch Ness Centre said its team will deploy drones equipped with infrared cameras so they can produce thermal images of the water from the air. A hydrophone will also be used to detect acoustic signals under the water.

Volunteers will be asked to keep an eye out for any breaks or other movements in the water, with guidance from experts on what to look out for and how to record findings.

“By joining this large-scale surface watch, you’ll have a real opportunity to personally contribute towards this fascinating mystery that has captivated so many people from around the world,” he added.

To the cynics and fucking haters out there, this probably looks like the disguised press release of a Hail Mary marketing ploy. 

Not sure if you've noticed, unless you're living in a cave, but the aliens have been fucking DOMINATING the sci-fi and conspiracy theory game lately. They're grabbing headlines every other day now. Like legit fucking headlines now, talking New York fucking Times now, not the National Enquirer anymore. They're on C-Span! Not History Channel marathons and Sci-Fi network. 

That's gotta deal a pretty hefty blow to an entire region that's been living off the tourism game like a newborn living off of its mother's teet.  Since 1933 this place has been the spot to visit if you wanted to see something not of this world. You have to be incredibly "right place right time" to spot or run into Sasquatch. Same with Chupacabra. You have to truly believe ,and live in the middle of nowhere to spot a ufo (until recently), so the Loch Ness Centre and their marketing blitz cornered the market by confining their "monster" into one space. A lake. 

(Fun fact - In 1933, the manager of the old Drumnadrochit Hotel reported spotting a "water beast" on the deep lake, sparking decades of rumors, 'sightings' and searches for Nessie.)

So it had to be a hard sell for whoever's idea this was for the entire local economy shot callers to go all in on this. 

After all this time they're finally asking for the public to come help out? And they're claiming "they're pulling out all the stops". AKA "using thermal imagery technology" to detect where Nessie is. 

I saw that shit in Predator movies, and that came out like 30 years ago. You could have used this decades ago. Smells fishy. 

Again, the haters would say the aliens are kicking your ass, nobody cares about The Loch Ness Monster anymore, and your bank accounts are showing it. 

But that's where the haters are wrong. 

Have you seen how fucked in the head this world is right now? Nothing makes sense. Top is down. Down is up. 2+2=15. Our pets heads are falling off.

After destroying the lives of anybody who came forward claiming they saw a UFO, for over 70 years, the same people, (the Federal Government), are now doing a complete 180 and telling the public "no more cover-ups aliens are real after all guys."

Sasquatch is still hot in the news. 

Conspiracy theories are all the rage still. Now probably more than ever. 

If you're going to get people to join the cause, there's never been a better time. With the internet, a plethora of social media apps and media networks at our fingertips, the amount of miseducated and face-value, freely accepting, ignorant, and dumb people has never been easier to access. And they grow themselves. So getting word out there about Nessie needing some more attention, because the people who run shit want to put this thing to bed by finding that fucking freshwater dinosaur. 

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The Scottish Highlands are on my bucket list for places to visit so this isn't a hard sell whatsoever. 

I've already reached out to contact my team, Donnie Does, and White Sox Dave to plan our trip to help do our part.

 We can bring our electric surfboards and cover that entire lake surface by sundown.