GET THE SLIME READY: Nickelodeon Will Have The First Ever Super Bowl Alternate Telecast This Season

Oh fuck yeah, this is the news we need as the calendar hits August and we get football this season. I'm sure there will be plenty of people who want to hate on this because it's not traditional or there's no room for slime in the end zone. I say, fuck off. This is great for anyone who 1) has kids or 2) has multiple TVs and don't take themselves too seriously. Slap this on at the Super Bowl party and you start getting everyone all jazzed up to talk the glory days - 90s Nickelodeon. 

[Source] - The Super Bowl will see its first alternate telecast this season, as Nickelodeon will carry the game with a production catered to kids. CBS Sports will produce the main coverage of Super Bowl LVIII for CBS and Paramount+ on Feb 11. The Nickelodeon production of the game will be streamed on Paramount+, too. The Nickelodeon telecast will have on-field graphics, guest reporters and virtual filters and will be distributed in the U.K., Australia and New Zealand on delay.

I can't help but laugh that this is actually happening. The first Super Bowl alternate telecast and it's going to Nickelodeon. The CW is out here getting live sporting events. Nothing makes sense anymore and that's exactly why all the big brains need to come together and figure out a way to get the Aggro Crag involved with the telecast: 

We've seen the slime already and while it's awesome, we're talking about the Super Bowl or The Big Game (because you can't say Super Bowl in Roger's world). You gotta step it up from having a completely fair and balanced NVP trophy. You gotta bring in Mike O'Malley. You gotta bring in Summer Sanders. Shit, let Keenan and Kel serve food during the game like it's Good Burger. You don't even need a halftime show, you know how to win people over? Put on these bad boys: 

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People, especially people my age, live for 90s nostalgia. You toss that into anything and people get intrigued, it reminds us of the good old days. That's why leading into the Super Bowl, at halftime and postgame, you play all the hits. My personal rankings of the game show?

5. Wild and Crazy Kids

4. Figure It Out

3. Double Dare

2. Guts

1.  Legends of the Hidden Temple 

Bam. Ratings through the roof. Just don't show Are You Afraid of the Dark? No one needs that in our lives anymore. That show gave kids everywhere nightmares and you still can just hear the name of the show and get a shiver. But, yeah, just go all in nostalgia. You know Kirk Fogg would be a great sideline reporter. The man interviewed a rock, he can interview a coach. Him on one side, Mo on the other side. Then you have Mike O'Malley and Summer Sanders in the booth. The nation is ready for Nickeoldeon Super Bowl.