Letters from Patriots Camp 2023: Volume 1

And so it begins. We've finally reached that nexus point of where Still Summer meets Not Quite Football Season. And being the selfless, self-sacrificing, spiritually generous soul that I am, I gave up time that could've been spent on the beach or the golf course to travel to Foxboro and be your boots on the ground. I think "hero" is too strong a word. But go ahead and use it. You'll get no argument from me. 

Some random observations:

--Today was the second practice of Camp: 2023. A hot though mostly overcast day, somewhat perfect for getting a roster into mental and physical shape for the long grind. Not quite Bear Bryant standing on top of a tower in the blistering sun denying people water like a Japanese POW camp guard. But not exactly the kind of Pumpkin Spice weather to come, where your wife wants you to dress like Alec Baldwin in Beetlejuice and take her apple picking. 

--And while we're on the subject of clothes, we were off to a bad start with this:

Sorry, but I don't need to start a new - and critical - season having my PTSD kick in. If Belichick appears at the foot of my bed at 3 am, waking me up from deep REM sleep dressed as the Grim Reaper, it wouldn't upset me as much as bringing out this old chestnut did. He might as well have introduced a special guest appearance by David Tyree and just finished me altogether. 

--Some people who did make a great first impression were the good, decent, red-blooded Americans who count themselves among Patriots fans. For the second straight weekday morning, they showed up in numbers that made it look like there were going to be fireworks or an FM station giving away Beyonce tickets or something. But they were just here for the football practice. An unpadded, shorts & shells workout conforming with the collectively bargained wishes of the NFLPA. It no doubt bothers the wretched trolls who work for the FM stations that don't give away Beyonce tickets to hear this, but the "Tom Brady Effect" they were expecting never materialized. The Patriots are still the biggest thing in this area. And it's not any closer than it was in 2002-19. 

--Another positive first look belongs to the sexiest free agent acquisition of the offseason, Juju Smith-Schuster. He didn't make an appearance in OTAs, but immediately won over the people in the stands like a Golden Retriever dad brought home from the Rescue Shelter, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. Basically giving off that same Big D energy that Matthew Judon and Kendrick Bourne have been bringing since they first landed in 2021. Except with Juju, the last time we saw him, he was drawing a penalty that won the Chiefs a Super Bowl. So that counts for even more.

--Between the lines, it's been two days of mostly red zone and special teams work. Practice started with the entire squad running sprints around a complex set of cones. It's unclear whether it was about gauging their speed and conditioning or how well they can navigate a maze. But it looked somewhere between a Survivor challenge, the Westminster Kennel Show and Squid Games. And will probably be outlawed by the next CBA. 

--So far it's definitely been one of those camps where you have to decide how to choose your words. Whether you're a "The defense is ahead of the offense" person, or a more of a "The offense is garbage" type. Think of it as the Oppenheimer vs. Barbie dilemma that defines your personality. At last year's camp I did a ton of heavy lifting saying the defense was responsible for all the tipped balls, sacks, pressures and interceptions. And all that was carried over into the regular season on the back of Matt Patricia. So I'm not prepared to get burnt again. Let's just split the baby and say Bill O'Brien has a lot of work ahead of him. 

--Generally speaking, the passing lanes haven't been open. Which I suppose is as good a reason as any to start camp confining your offense to the 10 X 53.3 yard rectangle until your receivers and quarterbacks figure how to get open fast and get the ball out even faster. There were good and bad moments. in 11-on-11s, Mac Jones connected on a perfect rainbow to Smith-Schuster in the back corner of the end zone over Christian Gonzalez. But then a few plays later, Gonzalez broke up a TD to Juju along the back line. Then Jones broke the tie by hitting Smith-Schuster at the pylon for another score. So a mixed bag, as you'd expect. 

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--Gonzalez is obviously one of the most critical components of the entire roster, given the schedule is basically the quarterback equivalent of the 1970s Big Red Machine batting order, just one future Hall of Famer after another. As such, he's the boundary corner lining up against the WR1 on pretty much every down. Opposite him has been a rotation of Jack Jones, Jonathan Jones and Marcus Jones, with a combination of Shaun Wade and Myles Bryant in the slot. And Jalen Mills playing that moveable chess piece role he had in Philly before injuries and lost free agents made him a full time corner here. So it seems to me the roles in the secondary will be sorted out as we go along, but the top corner job - and therefore the opponent's No. 1 assignment that comes with it - is Gonzalez' to lose. 

--Mac Jones' (welcome to another year of having to differentiate all the Joneses by first and last names) best throws were a rope to Hunter Henry in heavy traffic on a crosser at the goal line, and a perfect post route to Smith-Schuster. His worst had to be the one where he scrambled and then tried to force it into a scrum while flat-footed, and it was picked by Kyle Dugger. That was his second pick in as many days, making Dugger one of Jones' leading end zone targets so far. 

--Mike Gesicki has come as advertised so far, lining up all over the formation, from outside the numbers wideout (with Dugger on him), the slot (Wade) and in motion (Mills). So it'll be interesting to watch as O'Brien figures out a way to take advantage of his hybrid skill set and use him as the UNO card he can play according to whom the defense puts in coverage.

--As for Bailey Zappe, more of the same. His best throw was a bullet to Matt Sokol for a touchdown, but then he sailed one over Henry in the corner so badly it looked like his caddy had handed him a 6-iron thinking it was his 9. 

--And Trace McSorely - I'm going to hate myself for the 1990s Rick Reilly-style wordplay, but here goes - hasn't shown a trace of ability, but certainly is making his coaches feel sorely. (Ugh. I really am disgusted with myself. But it stays. At the way he's looked in this camp and OTAs, I might not get another chance.) He just seems like a guy with a big arm who's trying to rely on it, but has the accuracy of an Imperial Stormtrooper. At one point he bounced a throw from a soft pocket from about the 7. It wasn't Tim Tebow bad, but looked like an intentional grounding where there was no reason to have that intention. It pains me to say this, but I haven't seen flashes of anything positive from him. 

--The Pats PR staff does a great job in all respects. Truly. It's not an easy task under the best of circumstances. But it's damned near impossible given whom they're working with. That said, I wish they'd give us a heads up on which celebrities Belichick invites to be on the field with him. Today he spent quite a while talking to some gentleman in cargo shorts that went down below his knees. And any man willing to die on the hill of keeping the noble, humble cargo short alive in the face of all of society shaming them out of existence is someone I want to celebrate. 

--Good job by the staff for this, definitely. 

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They recognize a clear and present danger when they see one.

--Getting back to special teams, a few things jump out. One is that both rookies they drafted - K Chad Ryland and P Bryce Baringer - have monster legs. Whether they have the traits the Pats have always valued more, accuracy and touch, remains to be seen. As far as the return game goes, Pierre Strong Jr. handled the kickoffs, with a rotation of Marcus Jones, Isaiah Bolden, Demario Douglas and Dugger taking turns on the punts. It would take a miracle for anyone to replace Jones, given his performance as a rookie. And if for some reason Dugger gets the job, I might jump on the field and carry him off like Kevin Costner did Whitney Houston, since he's arguably this team's next defensive Pro Bowler. But I guess if it was good enough for Julian Edelman, there are no sacred cows. 

This is already way longer than it should be. But it's a testament to how bloody much I'm happy to have even pretend football back again that I went way past my time. Thanks for reading. There'll be plenty more where this came from.